SWASAN OS – MOVING ON! ~Ashu

Hello everyone! The people who are waiting for my FF… I’m so sorry, I couldn’t post it in a month and a half. I was caught up with so many things and I couldn’t write. But, here’s an OS for you!

Not proof read!
Ignore Grammatical errors and typos!

Moving On!!!

“Mumma…” the little girl screamed in excitement, and hugged her mother tightly.

“Happy Birthday Shanaya!” Swara wished her daughter taking her in her arms, and kissing her cheek. She was the only little bundle of joy, in her otherwise not so happy life. If not for her daughter, she’d have never been here. Her daughter was her life, and the only reason she was still breathing.

“Mumma, how do I look?” The little five year old asked Swara, twirling around, holding the frills of her baby pink frock in her tiny little hands.

“Like an angel!” she replied, causing the little girl to squeal in delight. Swara laughed, seeing her daughter’s excitement. As a mother, she wanted nothing more than her daughter’s happiness.

Everything in her daughter reminds her of her husband, her eyes, her smile, her food choices and even her colour choices. ‘The Dad – daughter duo are the same,’ she thought, looking at her daughter. Shanaya was the closest thing she has had, of him.

“Happy Birthday Princess!” A very familiar rough male voice spoke from behind them. The mother and daughter turned back at the source of the voice.

“Dad!” little Shanaya squealed. Wriggling out of her mother’s embrace, she ran to him, and put her little arms around his neck. Swara always adored them together.

“What did you get me for my birthday?” asked Shanaya. Swara stood in her place, watching the two of them amused.

“Um…What if I didn’t get you anything?” He asked her, scrunching his face a little. Shanaya’s face fell a little hearing those words. The little girl looked like she wanted to cry.

“Aww my Princess, see all your gifts are placed on the table there. Go and have a look.” He said, pointing to a table in the distance.

Her eyes twinkled with happiness, and she quickly made her way to the table stacked with gift boxes. Swara’s eyes widened as she saw the huge gift boxes.

As Shanaya opened her gifts one by one, Swara spoke, “You spoil her too much, Laksh!” Swara gave him a sharp look, as if to accuse him of committing a crime.

“She’s a kid, Swara. Besides, I’ve the rights to spoil her as much as I want. Shanaya calls me Dad, and she is my daughter.” Laksh said defensively, stressing on the words ‘My Daughter’. He turned his gaze back to Shanaya, who was giggling happily. His lips curved up into a smile, seeing the little girl happy.

Swara’s eyes moistened as she looked at Laksh’s love for Shanaya. Laksh loved Shanaya, and Shanaya adored him. Laksh has always fulfilled all the duties of a father to Shanaya; Swara could never thank him enough for whatever he has done.

The little girl never had to live a life without her father. Laksh had fulfilled the void in her life, though not completely, yet to a major extent. She missed her birth father terribly; yes, she knew him, for she was raised by her mother telling her stories about her birth father. Shanaya loved it, when Swara talked about her Dad. Swara missed him too! But she had to stay strong for the sake of her daughter. She didn’t want Shanaya to stay unaware of her real Dad.

As Swara looked at Shanaya, who was now sitting in Laksh’s lap and whispering something in his ears, she knew her daughter was happy. How she wished Sanskaar to be present here at this moment! She wished it was Sanskaar who called Shanaya as Princess. She wished it was Sanskaar who spoiled their daughter with gifts. She wished it was Sanskaar who fulfilled all the duties of a father, to Shanaya. It was not that she didn’t want Laksh to do the same, but she missed Sanskaar terribly. Only she knew how hard it was for her to live a life without him.

Everytime she remembered him, which to be honest, was almost the entire time, she missed him. A single lone tear escaped her eye, and down her cheek, when she couldn’t hold back any longer. She rushed upstairs to her room, that room where she had made lots of memories with him. It was their room, their personal space, which gave her a life time of memories.

Walking to the bed, she picked up Sanskaar’s photo from the bed side table and settled down on the bed. She gazed at the photo lovingly, and caressed it gently.

This was Sanskaar! Her Sanskaar! The guy who loved her more than she can ever imagine. It was very unfortunate, her days with him were numbered. As she stared at his photo, a fresh set of tears escaped her eyes.

Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she calmed down. “I hate you, Sanskaar! I hate you! I hate you for leaving me alone.” She cried.

“I wish you were here, Sanskaar! Especially today. Our Princess has turned five today. It’s her birthday and you have no idea, how much I want you to be present here!”

Swara closed her eyes in despair. If given a chance, she’d choose to re live all her moments with him. She remembered their college days, where they first met. Laksh, Sanskaar and Swara! They had started as good friends, and it was not until later, that Sanskaar had confessed that he had fallen in love with her, the very first time he had met her.

She closed her eyes and relished all their college days. She felt like it was just yesterday that everything happened and when the time passed, she didn’t know. They were in a relationship for almost six years, before they got married. Six years, and she still didn’t feel like it!

“Sanskaar, you promised you’d stay by me, always! But you broke your promise. You left me! You left me all alone!” She cried, breaking down with every word.

“Just when I thought I’ve lost the reason to live, you gave me a new reason. You gave me Shanaya. She’s so adorable, and I wish you were here, so you knew what she was like. I wish she met you, and played with you! I know you have always wanted a daughter, so you’d treat her like a Princess; so you’d team up with her against me and irritate me; so you’d protect her from all the guys.” She laughed, remembering the conversation she once had with Sanskaar, about having kids.

Sanskaar had always wanted a daughter and name her Shanaya. It was a pity, he didn’t get to hold his daughter in his arms. Swara was overjoyed when she first knew about her pregnancy, so was Sanskaar. He jumped up and down like a seven year old, who was gifted his favourite video games. Sanskaar had been over protective about her and their baby in the initial months. He would whisper soothing words to her, and shower her with so much of love. Not that it was anything new, but still, it was special.

But she didn’t miss Sanskaar’s changing attitude a couple of months later. He started ignoring her, he had become more arrogant, he occasionally snapped at her. Swara, by all means, wanted to know the reason behind Sanskaar’s changing attitude. But she couldn’t! They once had a huge argument, a major one; and Sanskaar left the house in rage. She expected him to come back once he had cooled down. But he didn’t come.

Laksh had been by her side, all the while. She only received a letter from Sanskaar a couple of days later, stating that he was done with her, and he no longer wanted to live with her. There was something else in the letter, that shattered her. It was his words that he knew Laksh and Swara were in love, and they didn’t need to act anymore. It hurt Swara when he accused her, of cheating on him. She couldn’t believe it was the same Sanskaar, who trusted her blindly, and loved her unconditionally. She couldn’t believe that he didn’t give her a chance to explain herself.

The letter had left her broken, totally and badly. She stopped talking to people, locked herself in a room and cried for hours. Laksh did everything in his power to keep her happy, for it was not good for the baby. After a lot of persuasion from Laksh and warnings from the doctor, she decided that she couldn’t lose her baby. She had already lost Sanskaar, and she couldn’t risk losing the baby.

“I thought you didn’t love me anymore Sanskaar. It hurt, when I received your letter. It hurt to see that you thought I’d cheat on you. Laksh has always been a friend to me and more than a friend to you. I didn’t know until later why you sent that letter.” She talked slowly to his photo.

“You didn’t come back, but, I thought you were at least happy somewhere, even if it is without me. But little did I know, that you were trying to fight your way with fate.” She closed her eyes, and let all her tears flow, remembering his last few words.

Swara was in her last trimester, and near to her due date. Laksh had taken care of her, after Sanskaar left, three months ago. Swara missed Sanskaar the most, for it was the precious time a woman would want her husband by her side. Swara was talking to Laksh, one fine day, when she received a visitor. That visitor had changed her life completely.

It was Ragini, Sanskaar’s doctor. When Ragini introduced herself as Sanskaar’s Doctor, Swara was terrified. Ragini brought a bad news with her, that left Swara shattered. She said nothing but handed Swara a CD, with Sanskaar’s last words in it for Swara.

Swara and Laksh were trying to assure their own selves that everything was going to be okay, and that Sanskaar was fine. Laksh brought his laptop and played the CD. As the video started playing, Swara saw a very pale and sick looking Sanskaar surrounded by blue and white sheets. It looked like he was in some hospital. Her heart welled up looking at Sanskaar, and she prayed to God for him to be okay.

“Swara, I know I’ve hurt you a lot! I’m sorry. I hate myself for being so mean to you. You don’t know how hard it was, for me to write that letter and send it to you. I know, you’d never in your wildest dreams would even think of cheating on me. Laksh wouldn’t break my trust either. I wanted you to move on and be happy, once I’m gone. And you need to hate me to move on. I wanted you to hate me! I guess, I’m the only guy who wants to be hated by the girl I love. Look, where fate has brought us!

I’m sorry Swara, I couldn’t fulfill my promise of living our lives together forever. You need to move on Swara, when I’m gone. Yes, I’m suffering from Leukemia and I might possibly be very far from you, when you are watching this video. That day, when I left the house, I went to US, for treatment. Even if there was 1% chance of me surviving, I’d want to try, so that I can live with you forever. But looks like the fate is against us.

Swara, I’m sorry for leaving you, when you needed me the most, but I know Laksh must have taken good care of you in my absence. You must be wondering, why I sent this video, if I wanted you to hate me? Because I couldn’t live at peace for lieing to you. I couldn’t bear the pain anymore. Swara, as much as I hate seeing you with someone else, you need to move on. You need to live your life again. Take care of yourself and our daughter; I hope it’s a girl!” He gave a weak smile at the last part. “I wish I was there to play with her, love her and protect her.” He said sounding low.

Swara remembered his words, as if it was just yesterday. Sanskaar wanted her to move on. And of course she did. As she thought about his words, she heard a knock on the door. She wiped her tears and turned back, only to find Laksh and Ragini standing at the door step.

“Talking to Sanskaar?” Laksh asked. She nodded as she knew she couldn’t hide anything from Laksh and Ragini. Ragini moved forward, and hugged Swara. Ever since Swara knew about Sanskaar, Ragini had become a sister to her.

“Mumma, what happened?” Shanaya asked, from behind. Swara broke the hug, and pulled the little one into her arms, “Nothing. I was talking to your Papa.” Shanaya looked at Swara and smiled.

“Really? Do I get to talk to him?” she asked, cutely.

“Of course, Sweetheart.” Swara replied, giving her the photo.

“Hello Papa. It’s my birthday and I miss you. You know Dad and Ragini ma got me so many gifts. They were so huge.” She talked to him about everything and anything while Swara, Laksh and Ragini watched her in awe.

After she was done talking, Ragini held her hand and took her downstairs, while Laksh gave Swara a side hug and asked her to come soon. Swara gladly welcomed his hug, and nodded.

Once Laksh left, Swara picked up his photo again. “Sanskaar, you know how much Laksh takes care of Shanaya? Laksh and Ragini love her like their own daughter. Shanaya calls them Dad and Ragini Ma. Still, I wish, you were here. SOMETIMES WHEN I SAY, ‘I’M OKAY’ I WANT YOU TO LOOK ME IN THE EYES, HUG ME TIGHT, AND SAY ‘I KNOW YOU’RE NOT’. But…. I’m all by myself. You wanted me to move on in my life, didn’t you? I’ve moved on! I’ve MOVED ON WITH YOU, Sanskaar. I couldn’t move on from you! So, I’ve moved on with your memories, I’ve moved on taking care of your business, and I’ve moved on to live a life with you in it!” She said softly, placing the photo back on the desk. Walking back to the door, she wiped her tears, closed the door and walked downstairs to join the others.

***The End***

A/N:
Okay, this was a sad ending, I know! This story was originally written for the OS competition, but the word limit exceeded 2200, and I didn’t want to spoil it’s beauty by cutting it short! I was disappointed since I couldn’t enter the competition but posted it anyways, thinking if you might want to read it….

So, please comment and give your views.

As for the FF, I’ll try to post it soon! Idk when, but soon! Provided, you want to read it!
Thank you!

Love,
Ashu❤