SwaSan OS : Shattered Heart..

a girl was sitting in her study room any trying to concentrate on her study.. bt she couldn't. like smthng was bothering her.. very badly.. suddenly sm1 call her..

person : swaraa..

yes she is our cute and sweet swarra..

swara : yes papa…

shekhar : how's your study going on?

swara : ( smiles fakely ) good.. good papa..

shekhar : hmm.. always remember. you have to top this time.. i don't want any excuses ok?

swara : ( tensed bt managed to smile ) yes.. yes papa..

shekhar : hmm.. and wat abt ur musical studies? i knw u r good at practicals.. no doubt! bt wat abt theory? u r preparing it well na??

swara : ( taking deep breath ) yes.. papa..

shekhar : listen swara.. its your last year of clg now.. i dont want any careless ness regarding ur studies and even musical studies.. u hv to handle both.. both exams are in next month at a time.. so be ready.. and i want best results, mind it!

swara : ( sweat was all appeared on her forehead ) yeah. i'll give u.. best results.. papa..

shekhar : ( smiles n pats her cheeks ) hmm.. better.. now study for sometime and sleep.. again in the morning u hv to wake up for ur music practice ( riyaz).. good night..

swara : ( managed to smile ) good night, papa..

shekhar left from there.. shomi was standing in door looking at swara.. both looked at each other and lone tear escaped from their eyes.. swara looked at other side n wiped it.. shomi went from there..

as soon as shomi left.. swara ran to her room n locked her room.. she broke down in tears.. suddenly her phone rang.. she saw name..

" sanky calling.."

swara wiped her tears.. gulped down her sobs and tried to sound normal..

swara : hii.. sanky.. ( tears were still flowing down frm her cheeks )

sanky : jaan.. r u ok?? ( concerned )

swara : haa.. haa.. sanky.. m absolutely fine.. wat will.. happen to me?? ( tried to sound normal )

sanky : jaan.. u.. i knw.. smthng is there.. u can't lie to me.. i'm coming..

swara : ( shocked ) no..no.. sanky plz.. dont cm now.. ( cries ) plzz.. i'll.. ( sniffs ) tell u tmrw.. in clg.. ok??

sanky : ( heard her crying ) jaan.. u.. u r crying.. i knew it.. smthng was there.. jaan u r making me restless. plz tell me na wat is the problem?

swara : sanky.. i'll tell u everything tmrw in clg.. i promise..

sanky : ( worried ) okay.. take care jaan.. love u..

swara : ( whispered ) love u too.. ( and cuts the call. crying loudly )

she kept her both hands on her mouth to prevent her voice to cm out..

swara gadodia.. one and only one daughter of famous businessman shekhar gadodia. very calm, sweet, ambitious and polite girl.. anyone can like.. loves her family that means her parents alot.. studying mbbs final year and learning classical music too.. have a melodious voice.. its the final year of her musical exam too.. loves sanskar very much.. both are studying in same college.

sanskar maheshwari.. an orphan. living in his small flat. very studious, ambitious and man of having great personality. loves swara like anything.. swara is his life.. he fell for swara at first sight only when he saw her in their medical clg..

after smtym.. she take out 1 diary and started writing continuously smthng on it.. while her tears are unstoppable. after finishing writing, she held her diary towards her heart tightly n sat on floor resting her back on wall.. soon sleep take over her n she slept in same position.

next day –

swara woke up early in the morning and started doing her riyaz.. whole gm was filled with her melodious voice.. after completing her riyaz she quickly got ready for her college and cm down fr breakfast. she greet shemish and had her breakfast silently. after finishing breakfast she bids bye to shemish n left fr her college..

here in college campus,  sanky was impatiently waiting for swara.. he was so worried for her.. when he saw her coming he rushed to her..

sanky : ( almost running ) jaan.. wat.. wat happened? r u alryt? y were u crying yesterday? do u even hv any idea hw worried i was? now y r u silent will u spk smthng? swaraa???

swara : ( taking deep breath ) if u let me spk den only i'll spk na? u r only blabbering n shooting many questions at a time.. ( sanky frowns ) so if u r over now shd i spk??

sanky : ( mockingly ) please..

swara : ( turned to another side and started speaking ) vo.. last night.. i saw.. 1 very emotional movie. and i couldn't stop myself frm crying.. dats y..

sanky : ( sarcastically chuckles ) do u think me as a silly?? ( turned her to him ) tell me the truth, swara!

swara : this is.. truth only.. sanskarr!

sanky : ( sighs ) okay.. tell me which incident or which scene in dat movie made u cry.. ha??

swara : ( looked at him in teary eyes ) it was a love story.. sweet n small.. ( smiles ) boy n girl loved each other alot.. bt destiny… wanted smthng else.. both lovers got seperated n the girl who couldn't bear this seperation.. died!  she.. died.. san..skarrr.. ( saying this she started crying vigorously )

sanskar was all shocked.. he immediately hugged swara n calmed her..

sanky : ssshh.. swaraa.. it was just a film.. dont cry plz.. shhh.. jaan.. plz stop crying bachcha!

swara : ( stopped crying after smtym ) m sorry.. vo.. i got very.. emotional n made u worried..without any reason. m sor ( cuts her )

sanky : shh.. its ok.. no need of sorry.. and vaisebhi.. ( naughtily ) i knw dat my gf is crying baby.. soo… never mind..

swara : haa.. ( realises ) wait.. whatt!! u called me crying baby?? ( started hitting him ) m crying baby ha? then who r u?

sanky : m handsome lover boy of my cute crying baby.. who loves her like a mad..

swara : ( overwhelmed ) kyu ? kyu karte ho muzse itna pyaar, sanskar! mat karo.. don't love me that much ki it will be difficult for u to live without me.. what if something happened to me..

she couldn't complete as sanky placed his lips on hers n started kissing her angrily to shut her mouth.. tear rolled down from her eyes. she dint respond back .. he bits her lip hardly n she moaned taking his name.. sanskar stopped kissing her.. n looked at her.. her lip were bleeding..

sanskar : ( resting his forehead on hers ) this.was.the.punishment.for.speaking.nonsense.abt.my.jaan. got it? don't u dare to repeat it..

swara : ( teary eyes ) m sorry..

without wasting time again he kiss her bt this time it was soft, caring n lovely.. he kisses the bitten area to soothen her pain.. swara too respond.. it was very soft yet passionate kiss.. or may be their last kiss!

soon both broke the kiss n looked at each other.. swara hugged sanky..

swara : i love u..

sanky : i love u much more..jaan.. ( reciprocates the hug )

************

days were passing like this.. swara's routine dint change. study study and study.. either musical or educational. she never went fr movie, shopping, mall, outings, trip.. nothing.. sanskar asked her many times.. bt she always denied saying sm lame excuses.. only 1 time sanky forcefully took her to 1 beach.. bas! thats it..

swara's both exam cm.. she was highly tensed, depressed.. she totally engrossed herself in her study.. she locked herself in her study room.. sanskar were tensed for her cz she was avoiding her food also n looking pale n weak.. shomi too.. bt shekhar was impressed by her act as he wanted her only to study hard. thats it!

finally her exam day cm.. shemish gave her blessings n wished her.. that day.. 1 more spcl event was there.. sanky's birthday.. yup.. sanky's birthday was on dat day only.. he got ready n cm clg to give exam.. he met swara..

swara : ( hugged him tightly ) wish you a many many happy returns of the day, love..

sanky : ( smiles n kissed her forehead ) thank u my jaan..

swara : ( took out 1 gift n passed it to him) this is your birthday gift.. bt ha.. opened it only when u reached ur home.. ok?

sanky : ok my princess.. bt wats in it?

swara : ( smiles ) isme aisa kuch hai jo zindagi bhar tumhara saath dega.. samajh lo meri parchayee.. ( smthng very spcl in it which will be wid u till lifetime.. assume it as my shadow..)

sanky : ahann! not bad.. bt wats the need of d shadow when i hv its owner.. umm.. let it be.. u gave it means it must be smthng spcl n different.

swara only smiled.. they started to go towards examination hall.. swara hold his hand.

swara : sanskarr…

sanky : ha swara..

swara : take care of urself.. i love you..

sanky : ( confused ) swaraa???

swara : won't u say me love u?

sanky : ( pecks her forehead ) i love u too..

swara looked at him with teary eyes n leaves his hand.. he felt smthng weird.. he bcm restless. bt bell rang so he also get inside the classroom.

exam starts.. bt swara was unable to write anything.. everything was jst rotating around her head. she couldn't write a single world.. she started crying.. sanky who was sitting opposite to her saw her crying. he bcm worried.. swara couldn't take it anymore. she stood up from her sit tore the answershit into several pieces cried aloud n ran out of there.. all gets shocked.. sanskar was all numb.. he cm in senses n wanted to ran behind her bt supervisor dint let him go.. he got frustrated..

smhw he finished his paper n cm out.. he immediately dialed swara's no. bt she dint receive. now he was damn worried. he left fr her home..

he reached at her home.. her parents were out fr sm reason.. when he asked servants abt swara they told that she cm n directly went to her room.. sanky ran to her room n knocked it.

sanky : swaraa..

no response..

sanky : swaraa.. jaan.. open the door.. its me..

no response..

sanky : see jaan.. i donno wat exactly happened to u bt plz u r scaring me yaar.. open the door dammit! swaraa…

still no response..

finally sanky lost his control n broke the door.. he entered inside n was shocked to see the scenerio.. swara was lying on floor unconscious n blood were oozing out of her mouth.. sanky ran to her n take her in his lap..

sanskar : ( patting her cheeks ) swraa.. swaraaa.. open ur eyes.. swaraa..

she dint move..

sanskar : swaraa.. plz open ur eyes.. see ur sanky cm.. plz swara u.. ( sees poison bottle in her hand and gets shocked )  swaraa..

tears started to flowing from his eyes.. he looked at her n shook her vigorously.

sanky : ( cries ) swaraa.. jaan.. wake up.. no.. u cant do this to me.. swaraaa.. wake up plz.. tell me wat happened? i'll make everything fine.. bt plz dont joke.. get up plz.. swaraa..

cries loudly..

sanky : y?? y u did this swara.. y? how can i live without u ?? n.. no..no.. nothing will happen to u.. m taking u to hospital.. r u listening? m.. m with u.. u dont worry ha..

sanky took her in his arms n left for hospital.

he reached at hospital and placed her on stretcher.. soon doctor cm n took her to icu.. sanky sat there with a thud.. all lifeless.. suddenly he remembered her gift.. her weird behaviour. so he thought to open it.. he opened it carefully n saw 1 diary and 1 small box.. he opened the box n find 1 diamond ring having s in middle of heart shape.. he caresses it n smiled with tears.. he looked at diary and opened it.. he started reading it and he gets shocked.. tears started to flow from his eyes..

diary :

dear diary.. u know only u r the one with whom i can share.. smthng.. i'm smiling u knw.. yeah.. fr outer world m smiling.. bt inside m dieing.. my papa.. no. 1 businessman in kolkata.. loves n cares for his reputation most.. i'm only 1 daughter of him bt frm childhood he never called me beta or never caresses me lovingly or never ever showed any care towards me.. he only used to spk with me regarding my studies.. study hard.. he want good marks.. he want me to be topper always.. he started to pressurise me.. his expectations from me bcmng more n more as m intelligent student frm childhood. and god gave me sweet voice.. so he dint leave that also.. he only want me to give exams n get pass with distinction. thats it.. till now.. till now i did it.. everything.. as per his wish.. maa knew how i was feeling. bt she never took my side.. though she felt bad for me.. he always barged his decisions on me.. i wanted to be an author.. a writer.. bt no.. he decided already.. he decided that i shd be a doctor.. only doctor.. i.. tried once to refuse bt he got hell angry.. n after dat all

i did is to keep mum n do as per his wish.. he dint give me love.. bt bcz of him i got my love.. my sanskar.. yes.. i met him in medical clg n he changed my life.. i began to laugh in clg.. he make me which i wasn't. i thought.. now.. now i'll get all happiness in my life which i waited frm a long time.. bt no.. god is so merciless u knw.. i heard my dad talking to 1 of his business partner about my marriage.. he fixed my marriage with a man who was 10 years bigger than me just to get a big profit in his business! i felt vulnerable.. he.. he sold me.. how could he? how?? is he really my father? if yes then how could 1 father do this to his own daughter? ?? that day itself i decided to end my life.. bt couldn't. everytime.. everytime my sanskar's face cm infront of my eyes.. that day sanky called me at night.. i told dat m fine bt he find out that i wasn't. he bcm worried n was ready to meet me at night itself.. paagal! he's mad in my love.. dats y.. i feared.. feared fr him dat if anything happens to me.. how will he live.. so i decided to tell him everything the next day.. bt when i saw his love n concern towards me, i couldn't tell him.. what m going through.. so i told him fake film story.. i lied to him. n when i spk abt my death he.. he kissed me hard.. showering all his anger, his possessiveness towards me.. and i understood dat i cant tell him.. no.. it will ruin his life.. cz i knw.. he can do anything for me.. he would hv stopped my wedding.. bt i knw my dad too.. he would hv killed him.. he would hv destroyed him..which i can't even imagine in my worst nightmare also.. n i dint wanted it. so i kept mum..

after next day of my exam he fixed my engagement. n i was shocked.. i.. couldn't concentrate on my studies properly.. i was depressed. very depressed. i used to cry whole night.. bt there was only my pillow who wiped off my tears.. no one else.. bt now this is enough! i can't bear more.. i can't give myself to anyone else other than sanskar. i belong to him only.. if not him then no one else.. so i made myself strong n took a decision. to end my life.. to end myself.. i'll wish sanky on his birthday.. will give my paper.. n then will take leave frm this world.. i thought to give him smthng best on his birthday bt see.. m giving him lot of emptiness, sadness for lifetime.. n for which he'll never forgive me. bt still.. b4 leaving this world i wanted he to know my past.. why i took this decision. thats y i gifted him my diary and a s shaped ring.. s for sanskarr n s for swara.. i dint take s & s ring.. ccz there's no need of different initials.. coz hum do jism ek jaan hai.. aur hamesha rahenge.. this small msg fr u my love-

dear sanskar,

          i know when u'll see all this till then i would hv left this world.. bt plz forgive ur jaan.. cz she can't bear this pain anymore.. i always lived in pressure.. i was never free.. always calm.. silent.. my mind was always surrounded by thousand thoughts.. bt now..i want to get free from all this.. i want a peace.. i want to sleep peacefully.. i dont want yo take any tension.. any burden.. i knw m sounding selfish.. bt.. i.. i.. m really.. sick.. of.. this.. meaningless..life.. sanky.. plz.. if.. possible.. forgive me..

always remember, don't do any stupidity after my demise..you have my swear.. be a best doctor.. n for me, if possible complete my dream.. write atleast 1 book or novel.. which will give some moral to this world.. and yes.. always wear that ring.. so that you can feel me always with you…

                                    yours and only yours
                                                  " jaan"

sanky finished reading the diary n cried hugging it.. suddenly doc cm out of icu.. sanky ran to him..

sanky : doc.. how.. how is swara?? she is fine ryt??

doc : i'm sorry mr. maheshwari! bt we couldn't save her..

sanskar sat on floor with a thud.. n cried out loudly…

" swaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.."

***********

a man was shown talking in 1 ceremony.. 1 media person asked him a question.

mp : sir, u r india's no.1 cardiologist..bt this writing novel and all.. suddenly. .?

man : well, its a wish of my someone very special. she wanted me to write n complete her dream as she couldn't.

mp : well, mr. maheshwari,  can i get to know who is that "she" n where's she now..??

yes the man is our sanskar.

sanskar : well, she's non other than my wife, mrs. swara sanskar maheshwari! unfortunately she's no more in this world bt she is always with me, in my heart..

guys after swara's death sanky dint let her parents touch her.. he cut his finger n filled her maang n married her there itself n performed all her last rituals..

after answering all questions sanskar started to go.. when he saw swara who was wearing white saree n looking like a beautiful angel..she smiled at him with teary eyes while he smiled back.. soon she disappeared frm there n sanky felt his cheeks wet.. he wiped his tears n left frm there..

the end!


i have seen so many times that parents literally pressurised children to do what they dont want.. they never let them enjoy their childhood.. and choose their career on their own.. dont even ask their children if he or she likes it or not.. n in that pressure lot of students do suicide.. i just wanted to show their pain.. their helplessness.. i donno whether its good or not.. if i bored u at all then i'm sorry!
 
thank you…