As soon as Sanskar and shomi reached hospital they saw Sahil waiting for them outside operation theater.
Sahil: sir here… Swara ma’am is in this room. I tried to find out with doctors but none came out yet.
Sanskar: it’s okay sahil, I’ll see. Anyways thanks for everything. You may go now I’ll handle here. Your wife must be waiting for you.
Sahil: I’ll take your leave sir.
He leaves.
After a while one doctor comes out along with a nurse.
Shomi: doctor what happened to her?
Doctor: excuse me?
Shomi: I m her mother.. Swara Bose the patient inside is my daughter. What has happened to her?
Doctor: she’s your daughter and you don’t know what has happened to her?
Sanskar: stop beating around the bush. Come to the point. Answer us.
Doctor: listen we are in middle of a surgery. I will ask my assistant to give you the details. Now please excuse me.
He excuses himself and goes.
Sanskar and shomi wait there impatiently. While one nurse comes out.
Sanskar: what happened to her?? Why don’t you answer us darn it! Tell us.
Nurse: look it’s really urgent I need to go.
The head doctor comes by then: sir kindly keep your voice low. You know right it’s a hospital and it’s mid night patients are asleep and getting disturbed.
Sanskar apologies and tells her everything: look we need to know what’s wrong with her but no one’s answering us. Please tell me.
Doctor: what’s the patients name?
Sanskar: Swara Bose
Doctor: come with me.
She goes to her cabin along with shomi and Sanskar: have a seat. I know Swara didn’t tell you anything. Being a psychiatrist I had asked her to tell about her situation at home but she denied.
Shomi: what has happened to her?? We are really worried about her. She hasn’t told anything to us. Do you know about her condition?
Doctor:(tells Swara condition) look I had told her many times but she always denied saying it will give her stress I tried many times to make her understand that if she tells her stress will become less and it will be better for her but she’s really stubborn. Now our neurosurgeon is operating on her. Her surgery was scheduled for tomorrow but her situation was very critical I guess from past many days she’s really stressed and was getting worse but she ignored it. It’s very dangerous and I m sorry to say that her surviving chances are very less. We are trying are best though.
Sanskar sits there numb. Now he gets why she was speaking of death and going away. He curses himself for not knowing about her condition. He walks out from there.
Shomi understands what he was going through: Sanskar wait! Sanskar!
Runs behind him.
Sanskar goes to a corner and breaks down: it’s all my fault . .my fault I could not take care of her. I could not take care of her.
Shomi comes running behind him and sees him shattered and she too was broken from inside but she couldn’t help it but hide her emotions for the sake of Sanskar. She knew he was all broken and shattered and no one is here to help apart from her.
She sits on the floor and hugs him: shh Sanskar it’s not your fault. I should have been there to look after her. It’s not your fault.
Sanskar: no ma… It’s such a big thing and I didn’t even know about it. I never bothered to ask her about it. I should have been more protective. It’s my fault. I couldn’t even get to know what was in her mind. What kind of best friend I m? I failed as a friend. Maa i failed. If something happens to her I won’t be able to forgive myself.
Shomi: nothing will happen to her. She’s our Shona nothing will happen to her. She’s very strong. She can handle it, m telling you. She will be perfectly alright. It’s just a matter of time then like before she’ll dance on your head.
Sanskar: she will be alright na ma.. nothing will happen to her na? I won’t be able to live without her. Maa? Nothing will happen to her na..
Shomi: nothing will happen to her. She will fight this situation. She is strong enough to come back and most importantly your love won’t let her go away from you. You get that?
Sanskar nods. Inside shomi was all broken and shocked. Her daughter was in a death situation and she was trying to console herself and Sanskar with words but all bad thoughts were coming and she was trying to stay as positive as possible. Not for her but for her son Sanskar. Sanskar always looked up to her as mother and after he lost his parents he had claimed shomi as his mother and Sanskar needed her most now. She composed herself.
Sanskar and she both sat outside the ward and waited impatiently. It almost early morning and doctors came out and Sanskar was in a second on his legs.
Sanskar (worried): doctor?
Doctor: don’t worry. .. everything is good. The surgery was successful. She’s unconscious now and due to medication she will get consious in few hours. We will come back and check on her. As of now you can’t see her but will let you know when to see her. It’s just few more hours. Don’t worry.
Shomi and Sanskar felt relief after hearing all this and were happy.
Sanskar: ma you go home. I’ll be here. Don’t worry I will take care of everything.
Shomi: but…
Sanskar: maa… Dida and uttara are also waiting at home. They called you so many times. Please go and tell them everything is fine. I will wait here until you come.
Shomi goes home and tells dida everything. Sanskar on the other hand is standing all the while outside the room only and looking at her through the glass. Swara is lying down with bandaged head and unconscious.
Doctor comes and does a check up and shifts her to a different room: look Mr.. you can meet her but make sure you don’t disturb her. She’s unconscious still. Once she gets consious we will do her post surgery tests.
Sanskar: post surgery tests?
Doctor: see surgery is really complicated so there are chances of her getting memory loss or some other kind of side effects so we need to do the post surgery tests. Don’t worry.. you can meet her now.
Sanskar nods and goes to the room and sits next to Swara’s bed: toh you had hidden such a big thing from us? Your become too big to share your problems with us? If something had to happen to you then what would I do? Huh? I would have died.
He kisses her palm: why do you have to do all this I don’t get it.
Her caresses her hair and kisses her cheeks lightly, he holds her hand and sleeps there.
Shomi comes by then,she pats his shoulder and both come out: Sanskar?!
Sanskar: doctor said they will do some tests after she gets consious. She’s fine now. You can meet her but she’s unconscious.
Shomi: okay…you go home and freshen up. I will wait here. Ma has come with uttara so we will stay here. You go and freshen up.
Sanskar nods and goes.
****
Sanskar goes home and remembers about the box Swara was talking about. He frehens up and goes to her room and removes the box. He sees some rose petals and a letter in it and some of their pictures.
Sanskar opens the letter
Swara” I know that you are upset with me about going. But this may be the last time I m seeing you, I couldn’t let you know where I m going sorry for that. I know that after reading this you might think where I m ? I m in hospital…I don’t know whether dead or alive. All of you would get worried that’s why I didn’t tell you. Specially you. I know what you were going to say to me today…. I heard you speaking with ma the other day. I tried to hear it from you but you didn’t say anything. I know that this time also I am not there to answer your question. Last time when you asked me and I was late but I really love you Sanskar I have kept this rose till now because that’s given to me by you. If you see my other drawers all the things are kept like safely.i really love you and I mean and I really do. You were asking me about first love na ….you are my first love and my last love. I couldn’t promise you about staying with you forever who knows what is in my fate? But one thing is sure that I will love you forever. If something happens to me please don’t hesitate to move on and find someone better than me and promise me you will move on. Love you my idiot!”
There were tears in his eyes. He thought the last time Swara had not come and was wondering never to contact her and he did it too and was staying away from her too.. then he came to know about her marriage so he thought that he should stay away and move on but fate had it’s game. He watched Swara from a distance and took care of her.
Sanskar: Swara … you have hidden lot of things from me. Now I will show you how I stay angry with you. ( Fake anger)
He goes to the hospital and stays outside.
Same evening.
Doctors tell him that Swara is consious and they have done some tests and waiting for results and only one person at a time can meet her. Shomi is inside with Swara while dida and uttara are out with Sanskar.
Swara: maa?!!! You??!!! How?!!
Shomi: yea my daughter is become so big that she does not share such important thing with us. Swara….I m really upset about it.
Swara: ma …. I didn’t want to
Shomi: shhh…it’s okay you are more important to me than your explanations okay? How are you feeling?
Swara: m feeling better.. have some ache on my head but I guess it’s due to surgery.
Shomi: you rest now… let others meet you.
Shomi comes outside and asks them to see Swara. Dida goes to meet her and then uttara. Swara was searching and waiting only for Sanskar but he didn’t turn up.
Uttara; aren’t you going to meet her??
Sanskar: I will..I think you all should go home. I will wait here.
Shomi: I’ll feed her the food and we can leave after that or Sanskar would you like to go?
Sanskar: no! You only go. I will wait. If she asks about me tell her I m busy with work.
Shomi: what? Why?
Sanskar: maa please do I as I say.
Shomi nods. After all food and all Swara was given medicines and shomi,dida and uttara left from there. Sanskar was waiting outside only he didn’t visit Swara once also after she had got consious.
Swara waits for him knowing that he will come and can feel his presence but he doesn’t show up. She falls asleep waiting for him and due to medicine effects.
Sanskar sees her asleep and comes inside and cares for her. He covers her with the blanket and sits on the stool besides the bed holding Swara’s hand. Swara in her sleep holds his hand more tighter. Sanskar smiles seeing her. He kisses her eyes and sleep sits.
Next morning he wakes up before her and tries to leave but Swara has held his hand tight. He removed her hand and goes out from the room. After sometime shomi comes to the room with breakfast.
Swara: maa.. where is Sanskar? I haven’t seen him from yesterday.
Shomi: he had some work so he didn’t turn up last night. Something important he was saying. He might come today.
Swara: might?
Shomi: Swara have your breakfast. You need to have your medicines.
Swara: are you sure he did not come?
Shomi: yes… Come on now.
On the other hand doctors tell Sanskar everything is fine and Swara’s reports are normal but she’s kept under observation for 2-3 days. You can take her home after that.
In these 3 days Sanskar only comes see Swara after she sleeps. He’s not going inside when she’s awake nor talks to her. Swara is hell irritated with him because she feels his presence but then thinks she’s just imagining.
After 3 days Swara is discharged and taken home. Sanskar is still not shown his face to her. He goes to her after she sleeps. Swara on other hand knows the reason for his anger because she didn’t tell him about her condition before. So she decides to solve this matter as soon as possible.
So after knowing that he comes at night to her room Swara doesn’t take her medicines that night which makes her sleepy. Sanskar comes to her at night and she pretends to be asleep and Sanskar not knowing this sits on the bed caressing her hair and kissing her forehead. Swara some how blushes but controls and Sanskar thinks she’s just doing it in her sleep. He holds her hand and sleeps and so does Swara but she doesn’t sleep that night because she had seen Sanskar that day after many days and she just wanted to admire his face. She was lost admiring him completely. She too pecked him on his lips slightly and wispering I love you. She hugs and sleeps in his arms.
It’s morning and Sanskar sees Swara’s position and her hands around him. He tries to remove her hands but she only tightens the grip.
Swara( with closed eyes): I m not going to let you go.
Sanskar: you are awake? Then leave me. I m going.
Swara leaves him: what is wrong with you? Why aren’t you talking to me properly? What have I done?
Sanskar ( sarcasm): you didn’t do anything
He leaves from there.
Swara: I will also see how you don’t talk to me by today afternoon.
****
Same morning both dida and shomi go to the temple.
Shomi: uttara will you please take care of Swara? I mean we are going to the temple so …. you know if you don’t keep on Swara that jumping Jack will go for her work or not even sit at one place.
Uttara: ma.. I was going to college. But leave it. I m getting a chance to bunk.. I will take care of Swara.
Dida: no no you go. Anyways Sanskar you’re home only you take care of Swara?
Uttara: but Bhai is not talking to her. Why would she listen to him?
Sanskar: you go I take care of everything.
Shomi: come uttara will drop you then. Sanskar we might go to the mall also so might get late. Please see to that she takes her medicines on time.
Sanskar: yea don’t worry.
****
Swara is sitting and watching TV for sometime but then walks in the kitchen then goes to the study then was going to go out but Sanskar comes on her way.
Swara: move away.
Sanskar: where do you think you’re going? Can’t you sit down at one place?
Swara: what you have to do with this? I will go anywhere. Anyways there’s no one home with who I can sit and talk to. You can’t stop me.
Sanskar: I can. .
Swara: I don’t listen to people who don’t talk to me. If you feel so try and see.
She tries go out. But Sanskar pulls her back: come inside right now and if you move you see what I do.
Swara: what will you do?
He takes her inside
Sanskar: you can’t do what you want Everytime okay?! You really don’t care about us. You can’t just decide for yourself when you know your family gets worried about you. You really don’t care what would have happened to us if you were.. (sighs)
Swara: but Sanskar….
Sanskar: shut up! you know how were we feeling when we came to know about your condition? Ma was broken from inside but no you wanted to hide this from us?! Don’t you understand ? We love you and we care about you but you just hide everything from us. It was good that Sahil called us and told or you would never even tell us. Just leaving a letter like that? Like what you think? You’re some random person and just leaving us like we don’t even mean anything to you. You are just mean and selfish person. How would you feel if you suddenly get a random call from some hospital that I m dead? Huh? Answer me God damnit!
Swara cries at his sudden outburst: stop yelling at me.
Sanskar comes to his senses. All these days he had controlled himself because of her but today everything was blurted out in anger and Swara started crying which made him guilty some how. He takes Swara into a hug And she hugs him back.
Swara: I m sorry..I should have told you but you would get worried about my condition and then not think anything else but only me.. I know I shouldn’t have done this and lied to you. I am really really sorry and I mean it. I promise you I will never ever hide anything from you. I will tell everything to you. I promise. Please forgive me.
She sobs
Sanskar rubs her back: shhhh! I am sorry..I don’t know how I couldn’t control my self. I should have managed my tongue. I m sorry I should have not said such harsh words. I m sorry. I didn’t mean them. I m sorry. It’s just that I m not able to believe that you were going away from me. I can’t live without you Swara, if something would happen you too I would have died.
She was still crying
Sanskar breaks the hug and wipes her tears: shhhh! I m sorry. Please. ….
Swara: shh! You don’t need to be sorry. Your anger is valid. But please never talk about your death never ever. I’m not going anywhere and won’t let you go also.
Sanskar hugs her back and so does she.
Swara: aren’t you forgetting something?
Sanskar: hmm..no?
Swara: really? Didn’t you not want to say something to me that day?
Sanskar: no…. I m mean I don’t remember.
Swara breaks the hug and hits his chest: I hate you.
She tries to leave but Sanskar pulls her back and she sees him on his knees.
Sanskar: I know this is not what I planned but it’s the right time I guess… Swara I really really love you and love you from college last time I proposed you didn’t turn up and the other time you flopped my plan but I love you,you are my first and last love, your my heart beat. …..( He scratches his head) and I forgot the next line …I was rehearsing whole time but didn’t think I had to say now so i didn’t prepare but anyways coming to the point …. Do you love me? And will you marry me?
He removes the ring from his pocket
Swara smiles admiring him
Sanskar: be quick… I can’t wait on one knee for a longer time. In case you don’t love the ring I can get a new one of your choice. But be quick.
Swara: i love you too…. and I will marry you.
She forwards her Hand and he makes her wear the ring and hugs her again.
Swara: and I love the ring but it doesn’t matter to me as long as you are with me. I love you more than anything in this world. I love you Sanskar.
*******
The end
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