SWASAN – SHE’S NOT FOR ME
Heyy, It’s Anjali back with the next chapter!!!
Thnxx for comments and to my silent readers….
HAVE FUN!!!
ALL CHAPTER LINKS :
All Parts here
CHAPTER 30 LINK :
chapter-30
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WARNING :
I have blabbered in the final part, I have no idea what I’ve written. I’ve become terribly influenced by my historical romance books so this one’s a bit wonky… READ IF YOU DARE
DEDICATED TO JULIA QUINN, The amazing author who helped me learn that I can write by allowing me to adapt her wonderful stories…
I would also like to dedicate this story to
@meher_07
@Sweetie_Geethu
and @
without whom it would have been possible to survive and without whose support I might never have finished this story
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PREV
Sanskaar proposes to Swara
CHAPTER 31 – FINAL CHAPTER
3 MONTHS LATER
Swara gazed at the river flowing beneath her, then turned to Sanksaar and smiled.
Swara : Do you remember the last conversation we had here?
Sanskaar looked at her and nodded.
Sanskaar : You mean about you wanting a baby?
Swara answered in affirmation.
Swara : I never really asked you if you want them. I… Well, You know how much I want them, but what about you?
Sanskaar : Are you asking me if I want children?
Swara : I guess I am.
Sanskaar came and stood behind Swara, allowing her to lean back against his chest. His arms engulfed her as they gazed at the swirling river below them.
Sanskaar pressed his lips to the top of her head and whispered in her ear.
Sanskaar : To tell the truth, I haven’t thought about children. There never seemed any reason to think about them. I didn’t think I had a shot at all this. Happiness, Love… It seems like a dream come true for me. But, I love kids and I know that you want them, Swara. I may not know if I’m ready now, But I do know that I want you to be a mother. The mother of our perfect children.
He felt, rather than see Swara smile. She kept her hands over his and gave a gentle squeeze.
Swara : Marriage in two days, Can you believe it?
Sanskaar (in a grumbling voice) : It’s been too long. Three months to plan a wedding has got to be 2 months too long.
Swara laughed, but she agreed with what Sanskaar felt. The past three months were both torturous and wonderful. After they got engaged in a private ceremony, They had spread word of their upcoming nuptials. The announcement had ofcourse caused many tongues to wag and both Swara and Sanskaar hadn’t found it easy to deal with the hurtful and false allegations that society threw at them.
But they prevailed and Sanskaar had intimidated anyone who dared to utter a word against Swara. Soon, their society had supported the love they shared for each other.
Swara : We were ready for the comments and gossip and even that couldn’t stop our wedding. But I hadn’t counted on our mothers being the biggest obstacle.
Sanskaar gave a fervent nod.
Sanskaar : Mothers should be satisfied organising one wedding. I mean, Ragini just got married. Why should we wait? We should have got married with them.
Swara chuckled.
Swara : You sound like you would like to murder someone.
Sanskaar released her and turned her around so that she faced him. He ran his fingers through his hair and smiled sheepishly at her.
Sanskaar : Every night, I stay awake just thinking of you. I.. I can’t stay away from you much longer, My love.
Sahil : Well, Well, Well, What do we have here?
Swara glared at her brother walking towards them.
Swara : You know, For someone who was our Cupid, You have very bad timing.
Sahil frowned.
Sahil : I’m still your elder brother, Swara. I’ll hit Sanskaar if he tries anything with you.
Sanskaar looked as the sparring siblings and felt a stabbing sadness in his heart. Laksh and he had been this way. But Sanskaar had withdrawn himself after Laksh’s wedding. There had been banter but it had felt forced to Sanskaar and he knew that Laksh had been sad that their relationship had changed.
He closed his eyes and muttered a quick apology to his brother. He opened his eyes to see Swara smiling at him with understanding. He gave her a reassuring glance and then watched her turn to her brother.
Sahil : Alright Swara. I won’t disturb you again. But you forgot your phone at home and the ladies want you back there as soon as possible. Apparently it’s your bachelorette party tonight.
Swara : Oh damn. I didn’t know it was that late. Alright, I’ll see you later, Sanskaar.
She hugged him, kissed him and muttered a hurried I love you before being whisked off by her brother but not before he heard Sahil grumbling about how annoying it was to see her hug Sanskaar and why kid sisters couldn’t stay young forever.
Swara : Oh God, Sahil! Thank God you had a baby boy. Just imagine if Aparna had had a girl. She would have gone ballistic when the baby had grown older.
Sanskaar laughed at their receding forms.
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LATER THAT NIGHT,
Sanskaar was in his room reading some papers when he heard a noise. He kept the papers down and listened but he heard only the rustling of leaves.
Sanskaar (thinking) : Maybe it’s some squirrel or an owl? God knows.
He went back to his work but then a knock at the window startled him. He opened the window and saw
Sanskaar : SWARA?
Swara (smiling) : Shhh! The mothers will find out. Now will you let me in or no?
Wordlessly, Sanskaar pulled her inside and then peered outside before turning back inside and looked at Swara who was beaming at him.
Sanskaar : How the hell did you climb a tree two floors up?
Swara (dismissively) : I was the best at tree climbing among Adarsh, Sahil, Ragini and Uttara. I’ve climbed ones far more difficult than this.
Sanskaar couldn’t keep the wonder out of his voice.
Sanskaar : In a dress though? You managed to climb wearing a dress?
He indicated her knee length, one sleeve emerald green dress that showed her figure gracefully but not indecently. Sanskaar immediately felt desire course through him.
Swara (shrugging) : This is similar to a frock. I’ve climbed trees wearing frocks before. Didn’t see why I shouldn’t do it again.
Sanskaar continued to stare at her, then blinked twice to clear his head. Meanwhile, Swara went and sat in front of the dresser and arranged her hair.
Sanskaar : Umm… Swara?
Swara didn’t turn back but looked at his reflection in the mirror.
Swara : Yeah?
Sanskaar : What are you doing here?
Swara : I… Sanskaar, I have come to make love to you.
Sanskaar’s jaw dropped. He stared at his bride to be. She looked absolutely ravishing with her light and understated make up. She had no accessories other than a pair of silver hoops as earrings. Her hair was loose and all Sanskaar wanted to do was pull her to him and feel her soft hair in his hands. However, he still had some control left.
Sanskaar : Did you drink too much in the bachelorette party?
Swara turned around and faced him.
Swara : Not so much that I don’t know what I’m doing.
Sanskaar (shaking his head) : You should go home now. You wanted to wait until after we got married.
Swara snorted.
Swara : Swara, We should not sleep with each other until we are married. We will make our wedding night very special. Kuch yaad aaya?
Sanskaar flushed red. It had killed him to tell those words but he had wanted to be good and respectable.
Sanskaar : So we have to wait two more days na.
Swara sat down frustrated.
Swara : But I want you. I love you and I don’t see why we shouldn’t be together.
Sanskaar chuckled. Swara still wasn’t used to being patient. He walked forward, knelt down on the floor and looked at her.
Sanskaar : We’ve waited three months. Why don’t we wait two more days?
Swara shook her head stubbornly. Sanskaar chuckled and kissed her knucles. She tousled his hair as he looked up at her.
Swara : Why do you want to wait?
Sanskaar : Don’t you want our night to be special? Our reward after so many days?
Swara stood and made Sanskaar rise as well. She looked up at him and hugged him, resting her head on his chest.
Swara : You think waiting will make it special? Sanskaar, Every time, Every minute with you is special. We don’t need a perfect event or situation because every moment is special. Everything is perfect. I love you and I want to be with you.
Sanskaar smiled and kissed her fervently. But Swara could see that he was still uncertain so she grinned wickedly at him and before Sanksaar could say anything, pushed him on the bed.
Swara : Sanskaar Maheshwari! You began our courtship by trying to seduce me..
Sanskaar couldn’t help smile smugly.
Sanskaar : Try? I did seduce you.
Swara : Of course. But it’s my turn now. It seems fair. You began seducing me and now it’s my turn. Now, You are not to move your hands until I say you can. Understand?
Sanskaar (shaking his head) : That’s not fair.
Swara : Rules are rules.
She kissed him. Her soft touch at his lips almost undid him. He had loved her for so long and the wait to make her his wife had been intolerable. The fact that she had wanted him so much and actually followed through on making sure that happened made his heart swell with love and happiness.
Sanskaar (thinking) : She’s mine. She’s all for me.
Just then Swara moved forward and sat atop him until she was straddling his thighs. She smiled provocatively at him and laid a finger on his cheek and lightly traced his face.
A low groan escaped from Sanskaar.
Swara : Do you still want to wait until day after?
Sanskaar growled and shook his head vehemently. Swara laughed as Sanskaar gazed at her sheepishly.
Swara : You want to do this?
Sanskaar nodded.
Swara : Then why are you not doing anything?
Sanskaar : You told me not to move my hands, My love.
Swara (chuckling) : Now that I’ve achieved my goal, You may move them as you please.
Sanskaar rose the moment she said the words, pulled her closer and claimed her mouth. His devouring kiss had Swara desiring him all the more. Sanskaar rolled them over so that Swara was pinned to the bed by him. He kept his hand on her hips as he kissed her ear lobes, her eyes, her nose, her neck, all the while trying to reach the area where she would feel the most pleasure.
Swara pulled him closer than they were already and her roaming hands on his form made him groan with desire. They soon divested themselves of their clothes and their passion and voices grew with the intenstiy of their lovemaking.
Finally sated, Sanskaar and Swara laid back on the bed, Sanskaar spooning Swara as they whispered sweet nothings in each other’s ears.
Swara : When we first returned to Kolkata, I asked Ma something I was worried about.
Sanskaar stilled and waited for her to continue. Swara sat and looked at him.
Swara : Did you know everyone knew you loved me? Sahil, Aparna, Ma, Sujata Chach… Sujata Mom, Parineeta… Almost everyone. I was surprised. How could they see something that I had failed to do so?
Sanskaar (softly) : You loved Laksh. There was no need for you to look.
Swara : It sounds so reasonable. But… I’m scared, Sanskaar.
She cupped his cheeks with her palms and rested her forehead against his.
Swara : You love me with your whole heart. You have offered your whole self to me. But I don’t know if I can do that. I love you so much and I want to be with you, no matter what. But what if you leave me because you think I haven’t offered my whole self to you. What if my love isn’t enough?
Sanskaar kissed the tear that appeared on her cheek away.
Swara : Ma did make me understand that love could not be measured and I was mollified. But I thought I should tell you everything. I couldn’t hide it from you. The fear isn’t as intense as before but it took all my courage to tell you this. I.. I don’t want to seem a coward.
Sanskaar sighed as he hugged her tightly.
Sanskaar : Swara, Honey! That’s the last word a person would use to describe you. Do you know how brave you are? You survived your husband’s death, you grew strong after you realised you weren’t pregnant, You single-handedly ran the company while I wasn’t here. You had the power to realise your feelings for me and you overcame your guilt and other demons. You faced society’s wrath and comments without blinking your eye and you climbed up a tree tonight because you wanted your love. Finally, You were so brave that you confessed your feelings to me. The deepest, darkest feelings festering in your heart. You are many things, My love, But a coward, definitely not.
Swara looked at him with wonder.
Swara : But..
Sanskaar kissed the tip of her nose.
Sanskaar : The part that you feel doesn’t belong to me, it belongs to my brother Laksh. Isn’t it?
Swara nodded. A tiny part of her would always be Laksh’s. She was surprised to see Sanskaar’s beaming smile. His eyes were so full of love that Swara’s breath caught.
Sanskaar : Laksh deserves to be loved forever. He was your husband, Swara. I certainly have no claim over that part that is his. All I know and care about is that you love me.
Swara : I do. I love you, Sanskaar.
Sanskaar : You want to be with me?
Swara : More than you ever know.
Sanskaar : Do you trust me?
Swara : With my heart and life.
Sanskaar : If I have your heart and you have mine, then how can we stay away from each other? How will we not be enough?
Swara gave a reluctant chuckle.
Swara : I guess I was irrational after all?
Sanskaar (giving a teasing smile) : Well… If the shoe fits..
Swara : Haww! You’re saying I’m irrational now? Just wait, Sanskaar. I’ll get you..
But Sanskaar had already gotten up from the bed and stuck his tongue at her.
Swara : Sanskaar Maheshwari! Come here right now.
Sanskaar (shrugging) : Catch me if you can.
Swara ignored him and went to get a drink of water. Sanskaar caught her from behind and as she squealed, He spun her around.
Sanskaar bent down to whisper in her ear.
Sanskaar : I love you, Swara!
Swara’s features softened as she replied in kind.
Swara : I love you too, Sanskaar.
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TWO DAYS LATER
Ragini : You look..
Uttara : Absolutely perfect. The perfect blushing bride.
Ragini : She’s not blushing, Uttara.
Uttara : Of course she is. She’s thinking of the bachelorette party night where she ditched us and celebrated with Sanskaar instead.
Swara blushed absolute crimson then. Ragini laughed. Uttara caught Swara’s eye in a teasing smirk.
Uttara : There’s a reason I’m considered the smartest one.
She looked as the other two stared at her in disbelief and shrugged her shoulders.
Uttara : What, It’s true.
Aparna : True or not, It doesn’t matter as today is Swara’s day. Sanskaar’s almost here.
Swara smiled eagerly. She couldn’t wait to be his wife. Aparna gave her a knowing smile as she bent down to whisper.
Aparna : Usually brides are bashful when they here the baaraat is here. You seem to have a different response. I guess someone’s eager for their wedding night?
This time, Swara gave a bashful smile and they chuckled. The ladies soon heard the drums and music from the baaraat and went downstairs promising Swara that they’ll be back soon.
Swara walked to Laksh’s photo and touched it gently.
Swara : I hope you’re here. I hope you’ll bless us from wherever you are. I’ll miss you always.
She stood for some more time reminiscing her previous wedding and marvelled at the fact that she was lucky enough to find love twice. Soon, She was escorted downstairs by Parineeta and Ragini.
She faced Sanskaar and was blown away by his handsome features. In an off-white and gold sherwani, Sanskaar looked flawless and utterly heart-breaking. She couldn’t take her eyes off him just like he couldn’t stop staring at her.
The rest of the wedding seemed to pass in a blur. They exchanged garlands, and took the pheres. But Swara and Sanskaar were focused only on each other.
Any lingering doubts that the guests had, of the relationship between Swara and Sanskaar vanished when they saw the look of mutual adoration between the two.
Finally, Sanskaar applied sindoor on her forehead and tied the mangalsutra around her neck. The pandit ji pronounced them husband and wife.
Swara smiled at Sanskaar who looked at her with love.
Sanskaar : Mrs Swara Sanskaar Maheshwari.
Swara : A burst of warmth spread through Swara as she realised that now Sanskaar and she were united, both legally and in their hearts.
Hours later, Swara stood in her new room at Maheshwari Mansion looking outside the window. She had changed into a simple black chiffon saree and was waiting for Sanskaar.
She heard him enter the room but didn’t turn back. He put his arms around Swara and she leaned back against him.
Sanskaar : Did I ever tell you when I first realised I loved you?
Swara turned sideways and looked at him inquiringly.
Sanskaar : I had just returned from Bangalore. All I knew was that Laksh loved a girl named Swara Gadodia and they were about to get married. He was so angry that I came only one day before the wedding.
Swara : So was I. He had told me so much about you and even though, we had spoken on the phone , It wasn’t the same as you being here.
Sanskaar : I was overseeing the wedding preparations when Badi Ma asked me to take some boxes to Baadi. It was raining when I reached and then I saw three women laughing and dancing on the road in front of Baadi. I was amused and stood there watching the scene when suddenly you turned and I saw your face, exhilarated and I was immediately captivated. I couldn’t stop staring at you. I think I was halfway in love with you at that point itself. The joy you had in your face, I wanted to be the reason for it. I wanted to revel in it.
Swara turned towards him and he smiled warmly.
Sanskaar : When I realised that you were Laksh’s bride, I was horrified but as I spoke to you, spent time with you, I was hooked. I couldn’t leave because Laksh wanted me to stay with him. I soon became friends with you and I knew that I could stay friends with you as long as you both were happy with each other.
Swara : You have been hurting for a long time.
Sanskaar : No more! No more! For six years, there was this mantra in my head : She’s not for me. She’s not for me. Now..
Swara : She’s for you, Sanskaar, just as you are for me.
Sanskaar lifted her up and spun her around until she giggled. He took her to the bed and bent down to kiss her, but at the last minute he lifted his head to look at her.
Sanskaar : You’re for me….
Swara (whispering) : Just as you’re for me.
Sanskaar’s endless love had brought fruit at last
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It took more than a year, but I finally finished SNFM! Hope you all loved it…
Will be back with the epilogue soon…
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