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The apartment felt empty and cold as if she hadn’t leaved there for over six years.She remembers each thing happened in her life.After her most painful days Today she felt the painful but this pain was given by some good hearted person that thought made her feel good atleast she had some peaceful and good moments in her life.
She sitting on the floor and leaning against the wall with the window above her,Swara observed the apartment .The quite of the molded itself around her and felt herself absorbing the loneliness.
There was so much she wanted to say,but words could not never leave her throat.As her eyes wandered to the couch and imagining how sanskar used to lay sprawling over it,swara felt tears prickling behind her eyes.Yet she refused to cry just like how she refused to do so many things.
Their goodbye was short, impersonal.The moment he told her he was leaving and his marriage got fixed,something within her closed off and she retreated to girl of past who never allowed anyone one in.she couldn’t help the pain that came along with his good bye and she felt she was being abandoned all over again.
She missed him and she wanted him to stay.But the words, “Dont go” could never leaves her throat.
He felt her pulling away ,closing off to him and it was enough to break his heart.
He wanted to tell her he wasn’t leaving,that he would always be there.He was broken seeing her reaction when she heard his marriage fixed.
Sometimes words sound empty, Even before you speak to them.Now his feelings for her sounds empty before he conveys to her.A part of him,a big part of him wanted to stay with swara and have things remain same but he cant able to hold it.
She left for her important deal to Netherland.After he left ,she was in contact with him hardly three to four days not more than that.She engrossed herself in her work and he was busy in his work but still there thoughts were lost some where the days they spend together.
She got call from him at his Marriage day,she pretended to be busy.
Phone rang.
“hello”she said
“what the hell..how many times I called you.i knew girl you were busy at work still atleast you call me at night right!!! Finally madam lifted my call .I have something important to tell you” he said in angry tone.
“Sir please hold on and listen!!madam busy in meeting.She told you may call so told to convey her wishes.Happy married life sir behalf of her”female voice said.
He didn’t except this but felt something fishy in her behaviour.yet decided to wait till swara spoke up with him.
“ok Just tell her ,once she back please call me back otherwise she will see my worst side” he said and hang up.
After listening it from her PA she decided to call him back but something was stopping from doing it.So sent an voice mail to him.Its was last thing happened between them.Because she thought he is married man and cant disturb him anymore . He need to spend time with his family,she thought and avoided him completely.
After his marriage day,both didn’t talk with each other.It went over more than month.Each message he left ranged from angry to soft tone but end up with”Just call me back….I miss you swara”his message left was replayed hundred of times to break the silence in the apartment as if he was still there,by her side.
It had something to do aching in her heart, the fear that the feelings she had was more than friendly ,that she wasn’t missing him,that maybe she was feeling more than she ever felt before.
Yet,the idea that she loved him made her hate herself.And as much as she missed him,she wanted to avoid him.
He can’t maintain his patience’s anymore decided to take matters into his own hands.He made long trip to India.Sitting outside of her apartment for few hours.when swara returned home,she was shock seeing sanskar .she didn’t know what gonna happen,how to face him.she found him sleeping.she had paused ,looking at him ,but keeping her distance .She debated between waking him and sneaking past him.she chose the latter.
Just when she was next to him, sanskar hand suddenly shot up and grabbed a hold of her ankle,which made her fall over him.”you been avoiding me “he said ,starling her.His eyes were still closed and his head was leaning against the wall by her door.He then opened his eyes and not bothering to wait for her response,he smiled at her.”I think you reduced your weight swara,is it so?” He said
She came our of trance and realized she landed on his lap.She stand up and composed herself for shoot out questions at him but before he spoke.
“So you going to let me in ?” He said
Once inside,swara tried to come up with a good excuse for her behaviour as she made them coffee while sanskar took in the apartment.Everything looked the same except all his things were no longer cluttering the living room.
“Nothing changed ” sanskar commented,breaking the silence between them.
“well ,you know me,”swara said as she handed him a cup,of coffee,”I like to keep things the same even when things ….aren’t.”
“How have you been swara and can’t call back atleast to know Iam alive or not” sanskar said,now becoming serious.She looked the same as always ,her hair tied up,wearing a grey sweat shirt,and looking as sombre as ever.
Swara averted her eyes and took sip from her cup .”I’m fine .Everything been good.A little quiet busy with my work and I’m getting used to living alone again”.
She tried to avoid his glaze over her but this time she was caught with him. No way of escaping this time.
“I asked why haven’t you returned any of my calls?”
She wanted to lie ,to give him a good excuse ,and she knew he would take whatever she gave him.But she couldn’t lie so she settled for honest truth.
“I need to get used to not hearing you ‘re voice ,to not having you around ” she said with painfull voice which clearly sensed by sanskar.”And I know that if I call you … It’ll make it harder to move on for both” she looked up at him his eyes started to peck tears.”I know its stupid but–”
“Its not stupid swara.Its hard for me too.”..after pause “ok fine tomorrow don’t go for work “he ordered
“No sanskar i need to go .will try to back soon ” she said
“ok ” he said
That night ,there were many more things that they probably should have asked each other ,but they didn’t.Instead,swara walked over to the couch ,sat down,and turned on the television.And they were quiet,watching an uninteresting movie and just sitting next to each other ,pretending for that moment that things were the same and its was just the two of them.
Next day at noon he was waiting for her return but she didn’t turn up,clouds turns dark still she not and her calls all not reachable.He decide to take her from her work place.In mid way he got call from her.
“hey sanskar come and pick me up at toto garage,its pub dude”she said
He was hell shock ,he can feel she was drunken but why suddenly.she never had any drinks at time of his stay.what made her drink,he thought.He speed up ,reached the place .He was revealed seeing her not drunk much and still she was in her sense.Both reached her place.
Once inside ,Sanskar deposited her on the couch and went to get her a cup of water and lemon juice.
By the time he got back,Paige was slumped over the side of the couch and staring aimlessly in front of him.No longer was giggling like child.
“Here swara,drink water and lemon juice.You feel better” sanskar said as he tried to put the cup to her lips.however she pushed him away.
Sanskar cant give up on her hold her hands and poured the lemon juice inside her mouth but half was over her .After sometime she was back in her sense.
“why did you drink “he asked in serious tone
“No reason” she said and tried to avoid further questions
“what No reason.Did you think I will believe you this time swara” he said as he was hell angry
“Please leave this . You tell me how is your marriage life,why sudden visit”she tried to divert the topic
“Nice try swara.Not this time so please speak up the truth”he said with smirk
“Sanskar its nothing like that what you think!!! You tell me ” she said
“well you can’t tell me right seriously you consider me as your friend naah swara”he said
There was pin drop silence.She cant able to open up her past to him.she cant able to tolerate if her present love will give disgusting look to her after knowing reason behind loneliness,she thought
After pause,when it seemed like she wasn’t going to tell him anything,sanskar sighed and was getting ready to leave .Just as he was about to get off the couch.swara seemed to sober up a little and began to mutter,”I saw them again.”
Her voice made him pause and he knew there was no mistaking the vulnerability she was feeling.she sounded like a lost little girl and sanskar knew this was one of those rare moments where swara was defenceless.
“I didn’t see them for so long and suddenly I saw them at different pace and he is there”she whispered as if she was telling a deep dark secret .Her eyes were watering and tear fell.
“whom?” Sanskar reluctantly asked,afraid that his voice would break the spell and swara would close off once more.But it didn’t,and swara continued unravelling before him.
“There are different person in my life ,whom means iam blank ,I don’t know where to start sanskar” she said
“To be true I want to know about you completely.will you?” He said
“Karan and my mother” she revealed .Her eyes looked passed him and she was off into the past.
His name was Karan and she hadn’t heard from him since college.He was the first boy swara ever loved and he was supposed to be last .He broke her heart and sealed her belief that love was only a momentary feeling that never lasts.
“I loved him a lot but he didn’t love me”she shook her head ,saying the words as if she was tasting the bitterness in them.”He went up to me one day and broke my heart.Just like that its last just over” she brought her two hands together to make a loud clap.”POOF ! Gone he gone.”
Sanskar didn’t know what to say.He tried to searching way to console her or bring some lame joke from his brain,something to cheer her up,but he was coming up with nothing.
Swara suddenly sat up and she seemed riled up .”And you know ,I was doing fine all on my own before I met him sanskar.I was never going to fall in love ,you know ,because of my parents.”
Swara never revealed anything about her parents ,that and her college experience were only two subjects swara kept closed to him.And now here she was ,telling him everything he wanted to know about her.
“Mom and dad both cheated ,then they divorced,not even bothered to think about me.you know what sanskar my dad last words to me ‘you’re not my born for me.Cheap blood’.I was small not in age to understand his statement but it register in my soul.Just I can tell I born for some cheap women. I was with my mom she Married other men.he were rich.Anytime parties.That was the period my life went into loneliness.Finished my schooling and planning to join college because of my presence they felt disturbance So hostel life started.During college I met him,I never believe love but he made me believe but its not love just desire and lust giving POOF ! Like Karan feelings for me.But I thought he was different because he said we were different.But NO ! He gone just like my parents.It’s selfish world sanskar.I hate it so made myself distance from this world of ugly people” swara ended.she slumped back as she grumbled,” Love doesn’t exist is all about poofing.” She turned to look at sanskar and her eyes watered once more as she pointed at him.
“And your’e going to poof too if you are with me so please go away from me .Give your life to your wife who believes you blindly .I know your partner will be good soul mate for you.So please don’t miss that person in your life.You deserve only good things.Its order from your friends sanskar please don’t be like other men.” She said and began to cry hysterically.
Sanskar didn’t know what to say.All he think why she not ready to love anymore because of her past moments.A fear of love . And how she was now crying so helplessly.Hating to see swara in such a sad sight .sanskar sat closer to her and took her into his arms ,hugging her tightly and decided to bring her out from her loneliness world.
“hey,I’m right here ,”he whispered soothingly.”I’m not gonna leave you anywhere .You were right swara I decided to give my life to you”he said
She was shock by his reply .she don’t want this to take place in her life.she pushed him away from hug.
“what the hell your are talking sanskar” she shouted
“swara let me speak I know what were you’re thinking but its not true.I’m not Married.Its broke up swara.” He said
“what I thought you’re married and happy”she said
“yeah swara its wrong.After I left ,when you started to avoid my calls each time I was checking my cell,looking at a book or files but not reading it, I lost my concentration at work and home swara.my world lost at you swara.Each thing happened in my life started to remember you I realized it swara.I don’t want to spoil kavitha life’s because my heart started to revolve around your thoughts.It wont stop if suppose its stops means that will be my end.did you want to end it.”he said while his eyes welled up
She was numb hearing his proposal.she cant take any decision in haste it may broke her heart once again still she knew she also started to love him.He is good,caring and lovable person and she feel safe in his arms but her fear not leave her so soon.
“Sanskar I’m sorry did you think im ..”she was cut
“Stop thinking nonsense swara..just stop dumping yourself into past.Live your present and make memorable future with me swara”he said
She knew he was correct at his point but how she can move from her past ,she thought
“I need time sanskar”she said
There was silence for few minutes.
“ok swara take your time .I will wait for you.I want to see bubbly and charming swara I never seen her like that but please don’t take too much time”he said
Both look at each other and lost in it.
He understand she need him now has friend.True love is friendship set on fire.Its doesn’t seem to matter what you ‘re dealing with in life,being in the company of real friends makes problems disappear as if they never existed.The power of true friendship.
Days started to move on.His care and words made her life change even she started to change lot.Now his act was being true friend to swara.He believes one day he will get her love.
Sanskar continued to his work,everyday he tried to push swara out into the world ,despite her protests.she started to understand and believes the trust and good people were living around her which she was made herself unnoticed many years.she reveal herself new girl.They joked around ,laughed and always seemed to,be around each other.
Finally,he believed swara will come around this time.He just had to wait little more .He believed that despite all of swara’s reservation about relationship and her past he would be able to show her otherwise.he succeeded in it.His wait was over one day.she settle away her fear,and showed her that he would always be there.he was there and he will through out her life.
His acceptance to her proposal.
“I cant take keep this secret anymore sanskar,since my heart has stopped conflicting with doubtful thoughts.you know what sanskar the thing I needed most in my life ,that is you that is love and one more thing I’ll make a lifelong promise to be with you till the end Through bad and good times.So take this hand and my heart,will you marry me???” She said
He smiled and came closer to her and bent to reach her ear.
“So your time is over Now.From this second our lifetime starts”he said Romantically.
Now their love story starts.
FUTURE
He put down his pen.woah.He rubbed his eyes.That was long story of his and her love story.He smiled to himself and leaned back to chair and let flashback comes into his mind.An unconscious smile has spread across his face.Just remembering her face.
“you still awake sanskar.ok you’re coming “she came from behind and putting her hands over his eyes.His smile got bigger.
“Definitely my dear friendly wife”he turned to look at her.
“what you been doing ,I told you to take rest and sleep”she said angrily
“oh wifey come on. I’m waiting for you..Now you tell me why you’re late..Don’t you think your rest is important”he said and pulled her closer
“I told you before itself.I will be helping mom in kitchen.ok now come will sleep”she said tried to lose her grip from him.
“Don’t try it swara.” He laugh out and rolled his eyes and gave naughty smile.
“Leave me sanskar.Enough Now come will get some sleep”fake angry pecks her nose.
“yeah will sleep,let me know did our baby giving you any trouble or pain”he said as their he bent to reach her face,forehead and nose meet up and his palm rubbed her stomach.
“Eh nothing much. Baby’s father who erased all painful moments in my life. His blood never ever think to give pain.If I have pain it will be sweet pain or sweet memories in my life sanskar”she said emotionally
“Errr.. I think my words touched the emotional talk so let finish it soon.Hmmmmm Thank you so much for coming into my life Mrs.Swara Sanskar Maheswari and you don’t take much time to reach me or we would have celebrated our silver jubilee in 60’s thank god though we completed five years”he said teasingly
“You never stop teasing me sanskar but I love it and I have to Thank you, For you I came into your life but for me you gave new life to live that life has only full of happiness and love .You had such lovable family but now I’m in it thank you so much” she said
“ohoooo stop it wifey.Its boring daily I’m hearing this tape recorder now I’m getting sleep”he said leaned to close
“Idiot Now what you’re planned to playing at?”she asked glaring playfully
“U know it.This” he replied simply giving her passionate kiss.She let out a moan.
“Happy.Now move its bed time”she scolded and pulled him to bed.
” Woah can’t wait swara”he followed her by smirking .
“hahaha Must you!!! Me too”she replied shaking her head and grinning .
And that’s their love story. Happiness overload.
END
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Leku