Hilooo Ev1. Here is the 8th part. I will be disclosing Swara’s past today! Hurah! Thnk u sooo much for your immense love towards me and this TS(ten shots), I just don’t know how to THANK YOU ALL in words. It means a lot my SwaSan family! I hope you all like today’s part too. No more patar patar,
Now let’s move inside the story,
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Link of the previous parts :
All Parts here
I posted this OS few days back. Do check out if any of you haven’t.
SwaSan OS..Did She Ever Exist?..by Kakali
-I’m so glad that you all liked the story. 🙂 will soon reply all the comments. 😀
Thank you. 🙂
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Here we go,
Sanskar decreased the distance between him and Swara’s house. Ammu was very excited as she was going to her Mumma after almost a week. He was feeling uneasy since last day, didn’t know why but he just wanted to see Swara safe and sound. “Why those people are wearing white clothes?” He felt his heart skipping beat as he stood in the door way. “Mumma!” Ammu clutched his hand with a tight grip.
Sanskar & Ammu was still standing in their places when one after another all the people left her house. He wanted to jerked himself from his bad dream,indeed it seemed like a nightmare seeing his Swara sitting idle; leaning against the wall. She wasn’t moving and her gaze remained still. Dried tear marks were clearly visible in her cheeks but her eyes were blank. This wasn’t the same Swara, no, definitely not.
Sanskar found himself so weak at that moment, he just wanted to run and took her in his embrace asking what had she done to herself? But he couldn’t, something stopped him from doing so. Whenever he looked into her eyes, he could read her heart but today nothing seemed to be readable. Her eyes were filled with nothing.
It’s been more than 10 minutes since he was staring her in a wait that she would meet his orbs but no, her gaze was as still as it was; not a single blink. Why she was so motionless? Various kind of bad thoughts were coming across his mind but his heart controlled everything preventing him from doing anything.
He came out of his thoughts while Ammu ran towards Swara. “Mumma kya huwa appko?(What happened to you?)” That little girl waited for her Mumma to answer back or look at her.
“Mumma aap meri taraph dekho. Kya huwa appko? Aap baat kyu nei kar rehi mujhe?(Look at me Mumma. What happened to you? Why are you not talking to me?)” Ammu cupped her face making Swara look at her.
“Mumma please talk to me!” She sat on her lap hugging her as tight as she could. But there was no movement in Swara.
“Papa! Mumma ko bolo mujhse baat karne ke liye! Why she isn’t talking to me?” She was at the verge of crying seeing her dear Mumma not responding to her. It never happened before.
“Mumma did I do any mistake? Please I won’t repeat that. But talk to me Mumma! See m holding my ear. Now look at me. Aapko pata hai na aapki Ammu kitna pyar karti hai appse(You know how much your Ammu loves you)” she again pleaded to her wishing her Mumma would take her in embrace.
Sanskar’s eyes were filled with tears seeing his both life in that state. His little princess was crying now and Swara, she remained like a lifeless body. How happy he was but suddenly what happened today? He averted his gaze and a photo with garland caught his 1st view. He stumbled back for a second while his unshed tears fall off.
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When Swara fainted in his car, he carried her in his arms while he saw her cell phone. She was having the wallpaper of a little doll who might be of 3 or 4 years. He smiled caressing the pic as it resembled his princess. He couldn’t think more as he had to take care of her.
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He left a abrupt gasp seeing the same photo with garland. He again looked at Swara who still sat their and his princess hugging her Mumma without saying anything. He knew Ammu was sobbing as her hiccups started. She was shaking due to continuous crying. She couldn’t understand what was going on around her, but she just wanted her Mumma to respond back like earlier days.
“Swaraa!” Someone barged in shouting her name.
“Ragini sambhal ke!” A boy walked into home behind that girl, Ragini.
“Swara are you ok?” Ragini moved towards her when she looked at Ammu who was weeping hard.
“Beta aap?” She asked as Ammu answered wiping off her flowing nose with the back of her palm “I’m….m… Ammaya” her hiccups continued “She.. she…. is my… Mumma! Who.. are… you aunty?” Ragini gazed at Ammu and she remembered how Swara used to talk about her all the day.
“Aunty do you know My Mumma? Please say her to talk to me. I don’t know why she isn’t….. tal.ki.ng …to me… I promise I won’t do any masti.. but please don’t.. let… her… angry with… me!” Her every word trembled as she finished saying somehow between her hiccups.
“Mummaaa!” She cried out now when Swara moved gaze to Ammu who was crying. “Anjuu!” She whispered and it was heard by everyone.
“Swara tum thik toh hoo?” Ragini was so tensed about Swara. She left her alone for sometime as she had to go to temple with Pandit ji. Swara wasn’t in a state of doing anything.
Swara caressed Ammu’s hair which brought a big smile on Ammu’s face. “Mumma I missed you sooo much!” Ammu said and kissed her cheek.
Swara got up from her place and Ammu smiled ear to ear. “Mumma!” She called out again and Swara did look at her but not with the same emotions as she used to do. Something was wrong, her eyes were still unreadable and black and more than Sanskar no one could identify it. For a minute she held his gaze.
“Mumma why you weren’t talking to me?” Ammu asked as Swara griped her wrist and walked near the dining table. She made Ammu drink water wiping off her tears with her duppata. That little Angel’s eyes were puffy red while nose was still flowing. They came back to room and Sanskar kept on looking at their activities.
“Mr. Maheswari!” He didn’t respond. “Take your daughter and leave from here!” Saying this she left Ammu’s hand and Ammu looked at her with wide eyes.
Swara stare into his eyes blankly “I said leave right now!” Her words seemed to be so hard to recognise whether it was his Swara’s or not.
“Mumma! What are you saying? Aisa nei bolte!” Ammu held her hand.
“I’m not your Mumma!” She said removing her hands off.
“Noo.noooo.noo. You are my Mumma! Why are you this? Please Mumma I said na I won’t do any masti.” Ammu hugged her through her waist. She sobbed tightening the grip over her “I know you are angry with me!” She murmured so many things but Swara was least interested in listening to her.
“Mr. Maheswari! I said something! Take your daughter and leave!” She repeated her words.
“Swara!” Saying this Sanskar took a step ahead while she showed him her hand indicating to stay at his place.
“Swara! Why are you saying like this? Aakhir huwa kya hai?” He obeyed her and asked killing his all urg to hug her.
“Mr. Maheswari I’m not reliable to answer you! So take Ammaya and leave. Don’t ever come back here!” She said again removing Ammu’d hands off who was struggling to get a warm glance of her Mumma. But today she was changed, her Mumma wasn’t same.
“Swara! Tell me what happened? And who.. who is she?.. What happened to her..?” He asked gulping his tears as he could sense something bad was going to happen!
Swara stood still looking at her daughter’s photo frame. Her eyes welled up. Once she glanced at Ammu who was hugging her tightly like won’t ever let her Mumma go anywhere. “She is my daughter Mr . Maheswari! Meri Anjuu!” Sanskar fisted his palm with a such a forced that his knuckle turned white. Did he heard correct? Her daughter?
“Will you leave now Mr. Maheswari? Make Ammaya understand that I’m not her Mumma!” Only she knew what and how she was saying. “Leave me Ammaya!” She said.
“Nei nei nei! Kabhi nei. I won’t leave you. I won’t leave my Mumma! You are only my Mumma.” She was too adamant to leave her and as a result she climbed on Swara wrapping her legs around her legs. “I won’t go anywhere leaving you!” She said while gripping her more tightly.
Swara tried holding her back, preventing her from falling but couldn’t and fall down. “Ahh!” Swara left out a small gasp as her head banged with floor.
“Ammu, Swara!” Sanskar rushed to them and made Ammu stand then Swara “Kahi lagi toh nehi!” He asked to both “Ammu! How can you behave like that?” He shouted at Ammu making her all scared. Her papa had never reacted in this way. He never scolded her but today he did, because she did mistake. Her Mumma could have got hurt. “I’m so.. rrr..yyy Papa… m so..rr…yy Mu..mmaa!” She apologized being his understanding princess. Sanskar’s eyes got soften seeing her sobbing.
“Swara did you get heart?” Ragini came forward. “I need some time!”” Swara answered and walked out leaving everyone.
“Papa Mumma ko roko na! She will leave me. Papa! Paapaaaa!” She pleaded to her papa but he kept on staring her untill she disappeared from his view. That little angel’s state was miserable. God snatched her Mumma when she was small. Now again when she got another one, she also wanted to leave her. Wish she could do something.
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On the other hand Swara was walking on the road being a lifeless body. Her eyes held some emotions which she didn’t want to show up. She walked trying to find her destination, her way was where her feet were taking her.
The cool breeze touching her cheeks as she stood in front of the endless sea. This was the same beach where her Anjuu loved to visit, this was the same place where she could find solace after her daughter’s death. Today even she came here to find her lost peace. But it wasn’t possible either. Having a tough time to control her emotions she sat there with a thud, and her work was just to stare & stare. Tears were tired of falling, Eyes were tired of crying, not having the enough strength to blink once, she kept on staring the sea blankly.
Her chains of thoughts were broken by a sudden tap on her back. She turned around to look while her dear daughter was standing just behind her. The same cloths, her favorite umbrella cut baby panda printed frock. Two ponies either side of her head. “Anjuuu” Swara blinked her eyes several times as her tears started to fall off. Her hands automatically cupped her cheeks, “Anjuu” she again said.
“Yes Mumma!” She said coming infront of her “What are you doing here alone? Why didn’t you call me?” That little doll complained keeping a pout and Swara dragged her to her embrace. “Anjuuu! Aap sach mei yaha hoo?” She wanted to confirm whether it was a dream or or…!
“Mumma m here! With you always! How can I leave you?” She asked pecking her nose. Anjuu loved kissing her Mumma’s nose. “Let’s go and play something Mumma!” She dragged Swara to the water.
Swara smiled wide and went Anjuu to play with water. “Splash!” She splashed water on Anjuu. “Mumma you are too much! Wait!” Anju said splashing more water on her.
“Arey wait!” Anju ran from there giggling hard as Swara chased her. Both played a lot laughing, talking, giggling, blabbering. Just like earlier days where she and her Anjuu existed. Her world, her family. “Where were you these days Anjuu? Where you went leaving your Mumma?” Swara got emotional. “Mumma! Where I went? I was always with you. Here! Aapko nei pata?” She pointed to her heart. “And I will be always there! I love you sooo much Mumma” She kissed her both cheeks as suddenly Swara felt like Anju was going towards sea “Anjuu. Don’t go there!” But Anjuu was just smiling looking at her “Mumma! I’m not going anywhere!” But she was going, far away from Swara.
“Anjuu! Beta majak nehi karte! Come here!” Swara was scared thinking of her going towards the deep water.
“Mumma! I don’t want to go, but they will take me! I want to be with you.” Anjuu made a cry face saying that.
“Nothing will happen to you! I’m here na!” Swara ran to rescue her but she was too late as Anju disappeared somewhere in the middle of the sea.
“Anjuuu!!” She shouted at the top of her voice. She wasn’t finding her. Where she went? Just a minute ago both were playing. But now? “Anjuu beta don’t scare me! Come out!” She acted like a mad searching her here and there. She didn’t realise the water level was coming to her neck now. “Anjuuuuuu!” Hysterically she screamed for her. But there was no response.
Swara was losing her sense now! The level of water was suffocating her!
“Swaraaa!” Sanskar screamed looking at her. He followed her, because he knew if he left her alone something bad would definitely happen.
He came running towards her. “Anjuu! She was here! With me. They took her again. They… they… You Call her! Please tell her that I miss….!” She couldn’t complete as she fainted in his arms “My Anjuuu!”
“Swara open your eyes! Swaraaa!” He tapped her cheeks. He held her close to his heart when he cried aloud. “Nothing will happen to you Swara!” He lifted her up and carried her to sea shore. “Kuch nehi hoga tumhe!” He kissed her forehead before moving towards his car.
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The room was under the grip of deadly silence. Sanskar was having the blank mask of emotions while staring Swara’s tired face. A few hours back what he witnessed was something which he never dreamt of. She was almost dying. What would have happened if he would have not reached there at right time. One after another lone tear escaped seeing her vulnerable state! He recalled her words “She is my daughter! My Anjuu!” He couldn’t stop himself from crying. What was happening? This wasn’t what he wished for. From the 1st day itself he could feel her loneliness, her eyes conveyed her sorrow but he could never imagine what she had gone through. It was beyond his imagination. Swara had a daughter but now she was no more! She was alone. God had snatched her reason to live. Why he had to be so much cruel?
“Anjuu! Don’t leave me! Anjuuu!” Swara murmured in sleep, breaking the chains of his thoughts.
“Swara!” No sooner he heard her voice, he rushed to her.
“Swara sambhalo khud ko!” He couldn’t think of more seeing her broken rather than taking her in his embrace. “Shh! Everything will be all right!” He just wanted to sooth her all pain away.
Swara jerked from her place while coming out from her dream. It was actually a nightmare.
“They again took her! She left me! Anjuu left me!” She cried for her dear daughter.
He didn’t move, nor he let her move. Both just stayed at the same position where she cried her heart out. Sanskar felt himself the most helpless person on this whole earth. He made her drink water as she became stable. With a swift moment she left his hand, maintaining the distance between them. She was in his arms. How could she?
“I’m fine!…. Sanskar..!” She said clutching her dress.
Sanskar nodded without saying anything.
“Where.. where.. is Ammu?” Her mind recalled the recent incidents where she wantedly hurt her Ammu! She tightly closed her eyes remembering her teary eyes. How could she hurt that little soul?
“She is sleeping in Guest room with Ragini!” He answered walking out the room. Actually he was unable to cry in front of her and needed some time for himself.
“She was three when..when….” He tried hard not to show his emotions and he turned around.
“You need rest Swara! We will talk later!” He protested not wanting to see her breaking down.
“We were happy! She and me! Our small world!” She continued even after his denial. “Anjali Bose, her name is! You know she used to call her Anjali Swara Bose!” A wide grin covered her face as she remembered her daughter, the way she said “I’m Anjali Swara Bose!”
Swara was in other world saying about Anjuuu! Her antics, her habits and everything related to her and it automatically made Sanskar smile. Well yeah, he was right Anjuu resembled Ammu or you can say Amuu resembled Anjuuu. Both were same, mainly big dramebazz. Ammu was papa’s girl while Anjuuu was Mumma’s girl.
“Where is her father?” He suddenly asked while her face turned pale as the bright smile she was having instantly disappeared. Sanskar cursed himself for this, didn’t know why he asked all of a sudden. The thought about Anju’s father or Swara’s husband had never come to his mind from the moment he got to know about Anjuu being her daughter. It was strange but true, his mind never went to that direction. All he knew Swara needed him. She was hurt and he would have to be there for her.
“I’m…sorr..yy Swara..aa!” He stammered fisting his palm. “I..will..bring..your food..!” He was about to leave.
“I don’t know where is he!” Her voice was stern. “I met him 5 years back.” She took a deep breath. “Sahil Malhotra, he was. We met in a matrimonial site. He liked me from the 1st day, Our(Her & Ragini) parents insisted us to meet. He was an orphan so there was no one from his side while we get married. Maa-Baba chose him for me, even I didn’t have any problem.” She stopped to look at Sanskar who was looking at her painfully. She could read his eyes.
“Everything went well! We were happy with each other.” She stood up and moved near Anjuu’s pic. “I was expecting when he had to move to another city due to his official work. I insisted on accompany him but he refused saying it wasn’t good for baby’s health. I don’t know what happened after that, but our relation changed. He used to come for a little time while I missed him and his presence. With the passing of time he almost stopped visiting me. I asked him the reason but his answer was only ‘work pressure’. I understood him so didn’t pressurize him.” It was very hard for Sanskar to listen to about her past life.
“I was 7 months pregnant when I received his… his… Divorce paper. He had already signed them.” Sanskar wanted to hug her as she said with a emotionless voice.
“I couldn’t believe how my world was shattered in a fraction of second. Still I had hope and moved to this city with Ragini to find him. This is the same city, where Sahil’s office was situated. Where he used to work. I contacted with his office but they said he had left from there! Believe me Sanskar I tried, tried a lot but all I get only failure.” Her voice cracked by the end of it. He moved towards her wanting to do keep his hand of her shoulder, to give her assurance that he was there. With her.
“Finally Maa-Baba advised me to sign the papers and our divorce happened. That was the only end of our relation but I had my Anjuuu with me. Thinking of Sahil only gave me pain. I couldn’t curse him for leaving me when I needed him the most because he gave me the blessing of my life My Anjuuu!!” He did notice her bright face twinkling with joy whenever she took Anjuuu’s name.
“Me & Ragini came here, away from that city and my Maa-Baba. After two months Anjuuu come to my world, giving me a new reason to live.” He loved to see her smiling as he gazed and she continued.
“Here only Ragini & Laksh fall in love with each other and they got married. Laksh was gem of a person for whom I was more than a sister and friend. Ragini was so blessed to get him who loved her endlessly. He was Anjuuu’s favorite Mamu!” Swara chuckled recalling how Anjuuu loved to pull his hair sitting on his shoulder.
“Everything was going good Sanskar. I was happy with my Anjuuu! But that day, that day.. everything was finished.” Swara caressed her pic with Anjuuu where she was making pony of her.
“Anjuu had fever, we shifted her to hospital. Doctor said it was just viral fever and she would get well soon. We were relieved but still an unknown fear was occupying my heart as if something bad was going to happen.” She paused while her tears fall off endlessly. It seemed there were no end of her tears.
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Flashback.
“Beta! Are you fine now!” Swara sat beside Anju who was sleeping in the hospital bed. She nodded not being able to talk.
“Nothing will happen to you. Mumma is here na!” Swara took her in embrace as he broke down. It wasn’t easy for her to see her dear daughter in that state. Anjuu was her only reason to live, if something would have happened to her, she would have died. Nothing can be more worst than the feeling when her daughter would be no longer with her.
“I’m fine Mumma!” Anju responded giving her solace but still her heart was beating fast giving a bad sign.
Anjuu was discharged the next day.
By the end of the day Swara’s unknown fear was increasing, her heart wasn’t in her control. “Mumma! I love you sooo much!” Swara cried all of a sudden seeing her love. “I love you more Anjuuu!” She pecked her forehead.
“Mumma! I want to eat butter panir!” Anjuu whispered gaining her full concentration.
“No Anjuu! Not today. You aren’t well and this isn’t good for health! I will make it some other day.” Swara reasoned out.
“Please Mumma! These medicines are soo yucky! I don’t like the taste. See my tongue became bitter!” Swara let out a giggle while Anjuuu made faces showing her tongue.
“But still Anjuu, it’s not healthy!”
“Nooo Mumma! Just for today, I won’t ever demand anything from you. Today for the LAST TIME. Please. I want to eat butter panir that too you have to feed me!” How could Swara resist seeing her Puppy dog eyes.
“Pleaseeeeeeee!!” Anjuu blinked her eyes making Swara smile wide.
“Ayeee Ayee captain!” Swara got up and lift up Anjuu and made a way towards kitchen. “You sit here and let me cook your butter panir!” She licked her lips gulping her saliva.
They enjoyed with each other laughing, giggling while Swara’s food was ready. “Here you go!”
“How is it? Accha hai na?” Swara waited for her answer as she fed Anjuu.
“Yes Mumma! You are best Cook Mumma in this world!” She hugged her kissing her cheeks tightly.
“Then let’s finish it all!” Those moments seemed like eternity. Swara’s happiness knew no boundaries seeing her daughter like before, in chirpy mode.
“Why are you crying Mumma?” Anjuu wiped off her tears.
“Nothing beta! Aise hii!” Still the fear wasn’t leaving her heart. She needed nothing expert Anjuu’s this smile and prayed to God to keep her like this.
“Mumma! Lori!” Anju nudged Swara when they were about to sleep.
“Joo hukum!” She said as Anjuu came above her.
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Chandaniya chup jaana re
Chan bhar ko luk jaana re
Neendiya aankhon mein aaye
Bitiya meri so jaaye
Hmm…
(Anjuuu left a yank nuzzling in Swara’s crook if neck).
Neendiya aankhon mein aaye
Bitiya meri so jaaye…..
Leke godh mein sulaaun
Gaaun raat bhar sunaaunMain lori lori
Ho main lori lori
Lori lori lori……
Gardhaniya chun chun baje
Palkan mein sapna saje
Dheeme dheeme haule haule
Pawan basanti doley
Hmm…
Dheeme dheeme haule haule
Pawan basanti doley
(Swara couldn’t help out recalling her childhood’s memories. Don’t know why today everything was flashing in front of her.)
Leke godh mein sulaaun
Gaaun raat bhar sunaaun
Main lori lori
Oh ho main lori.
(“Mumma!! Anjuu loves you the most. And will always love you!” She murmured in her sleep)
Meri muniya rani bane
Mehlon ka raja miley
Dekhe khushiyon mele
Dard kabhi na jhele
Oo…
(“Mumma loves you the most Anjuuu” Swara replied caressing her face but She already went into deep slumber).
Dehke khushiyon mele
Dard kabhi na jhele
Leke godh mein sulaaun
Gaaun raat bhar sunaaun
Main lori lori
Hmm
main lori lori…….
Lori lori lori..
(“Sleep well Anjuuu!” Swara gave her a warm kiss and hugged her near to her heart as the unknown fear was eating her up. She prayed to God and dozed off).
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Next day when Swara tried to wake Anjuu up, “Anjuu wake up beta!” But she wasn’t responding.
“Anjuu utho! It’s time for breakfast! You have to take your meds too! Anjuuu!!” She removed her comforter to look at her carefully. Her heart stopped beating while she touched her body. It was so cold, body temperature was so low. Her breathing stopped seeing her pale face. “Anjuu…beta…!” She tried to jerk her but unfortunately there were no any movement. “Anjuu! See Mumma is calling you.!” Swara cupped her face,later checking her pulse. But she stumbled back getting nothing. Her daughter left her. Anjuu was no more.
Anjuu fulfilled her promise that she would never demand anything from her. That was her LAST TIME. She left her Mumma forever and ever. Finally God was successful to snatch her only reason to live. ANJUU LEFT HER MUMMA! AND SHE WOULDN’T BE COMING BACK.
[Rest you all know what happened later].
(*I can’t write more! It’s killing me. I’m depressed writing this.).
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Swara leaned against the bed as she finished saying to Sanskar “She left me Sanskar! I couldn’t save her. I failed to save my daughter. I FAILED.” Her silent sobs were now turned into huge cries. All Sanskar could hugged her in that moment, as tight as he could. He himself broke down seeing her shattered. She reciprocated the hug unknown to her own act where she just cried,cried and cried,letting go all the tears she had been holding to herself.
“I’m sorry.. Swara… I’m sorryyy..for..asking this..!” He tightened his grip feeling her pain.
She calmed down after almost an hour sleeping in his embrace. He made her sleep comfortably. “I will make everything good Swara. I will tryy..I..love… youuu..!” He confessed joining his forehead with her while his tears fall on her eyes. “Everything will be all right!” He again said before walking out the room. Swara opened her eyes but closed it tight. Tears made a way of her eyes giving her more pain. He loved her. Sanskar loved her. It wasn’t unexpected.
Sanskar drove off to somewhere, not knowing where he was proceeding. Only his heart knew what he was going through. He wished to make everything good. He wished to make Swara smile. He wished… He wished…!!
What he wished for and what was happening………..! Truly life is so unpredictable. We often don’t get what we exactly want.
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Precap- Swara accepting her feelings.
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Humble request to ignore my all type of mistakes. I was busy with my admission procedure and all so couldn’t type anything. Sorry for being late. I’m having no idea how is the part. If it’s not upto your mark then SORRY.
I’m going take part in the upcoming OS competition. I have a request to all the readers to support me and rest of the participants.
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Wattpad ID- Kakali_SSC.
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Thnk u sooo much for reading..!!
God bless you all.<3<3