Hello, friends. Good morning. I am so happy that you are liking ishanya’s character a lot. Really, I hadn’t thought that you all would like this ff this much. Thanks a lot guys. Here is the next chapter. This is about ishom’s feelings and confusions about each other.
Chapter 23
New light
“You are right, Srikanth. You know the surprising thing he hates lies and liars.” She said to him.
“What’s so surprising in this? He must have his reasons to hate it.” He replied nonchalantly.
“No, I am not talking about it. I am just surprised that how easily he had trusted me and I have hurt him twice.” She said regretting her behavior.
“Exactly, like you had started expecting from him, he too must have kept expectations on you.” He said looking in her eyes.
“And I broke them and it must have hurt him a lot.” She said understanding him. She remembered their convo in his art gallery where he asked her, whether she trust him but not once she thought to know whether he trust her. Why? She doesn’t know!
“But what should I do about it. I hadn’t asked him to trust me.” Ishanya said in an attempt to cover her mistake.
“But you hadn’t made him aware of your limitations too.” Srikanth replied.
“You are right. I made a mistake. I have behaved wrongly with him. I should apologize.” She said to Srikanth making him smile.
“But, what about me? I don’t want to be friends with him or anything and I don’t keep any expectations on him because I know they are always the reason of distress.
“Don’t lie to me, I know you like being with him you want to be friends with him but just afraid that he may hurt you. But isn’t that you who tells feelings are not in our hands but actions are. It is your problem that you started expecting something from him, he hadn’t forced you.” He said explaining Ishanya.
These words affected Ishanya positively. She started to thing in the angle Srikanth said. She decided to give Omkara and her friendship a chance.
“You are right, it is my mistake. I owe him an explanation and after it if he still wants to be my friend then I’ll think about it.” She said to Srikanth.
“Good, but tell me one thing you don’t have any expectations from Shivaay and that is why comfortable with his friendship. But you have this problem with Omkara why?” He asked making Ishanya surprised.
“I…..I…. don’t know. May be because with Shivaay I can be guarded but with Omkara my guard fails and I fear that he can hurt me as I am not guarded.” She replied lost in thoughts.
“Ishanya, don’t fear trusting new people especially when they deserve the change. Try it.” He said to her.
“How can I? How can I trust anyone like that, Srikanth? How can I forget aadhi’s betrayal?” She said trying to stop her tears.
“Relax, Ishanya. I am not saying to trust anyone. But you can definitely think about giving a chance to people like Shivaay and Omkara. And please try to forget your past, move on.” He said explaining her. She nodded in yes and said, “I’m trying.”
“Good, now promise me that you are not going to hurt yourself again like you did yesterday.” He said to her.
“I’ll try but cannot promise anything.” She said looking down ashamed of her deed.
“Ishanya, I am giving medicines to control your anxiety so take them when you felt like yesterday, Ok?” Srikanth said and Ishanya nodded her head in yes.
They continued their session for some more time and left from there.
At night in Oberoi Mansion, Omkara is swimming in the pool while thinking about Ishanya. He is very upset at her behavior. He remembered how beautiful a day went with her, he liked it a lot. It is one of the best days of his life.
For the first time, he enjoyed being himself without thinking about any of the problems he has. He would have started loving his life again if only Ishanya hadn’t closed up to him again.
But he is oblivious to this. He is still oblivious of the reason why she affects him a lot. Her every word and action has an impact on him, he do realize it, but he is not aware of the reason.
He remembered the day he spent with her while swimming. He got the flashes of her eyes, smile, her little antics like fidgeting with her scarf when they were inside the cave, her frustration in pushing in the hair aside when it fell on her face.
Her glowing face when she laughed. Her laugh is so musical he thought. But then, he remembered her dull face throughout the dinner, her silence when he apologized. He tried to remember his actions, when he was with her.
‘She was in a playful mood when they went to dinner, he hadn’t seen anything that upset her in boat riding, she was nervous in the elephant caves but that was because of the darkness.
She was feeling very happy when they were at the marine drive. And at the disc she was enjoying to the fullest. Then suddenly what happened to her?’ he thought while coming out of the pool.
He wore the robe and sat on the recliner still lost in the thoughts. She was fine until he complimented her. But he couldn’t believe that it is just his compliment which made her upset. Throughout the day they were joking with each other, he joked with her playfully to which she gave befitting replies too.
‘Then how come a compliment hurt her? There must be something else which I failed to notice.’ He thought and tried to remember anything which can give him a clue to her changed behavior.
“One thing is sure that she got upset with something in the disc. But what made her upset? Ok, even if she got upset why did she behave like that with me? What can be the reason?” He was lost in his thoughts when he heard the sound of glass breaking which came from the bar room behind him.
He turned to find the reason of the noise and he saw his mother near the broken bottle. He thought of going to her but stopped himself when he saw her retreating from there lost in her own world. He turned to pool side and closed his eyes with folded hands on his nose.
Seeing his mother like this pains him a lot and makes him more anger at his so called father. No matter how much he try he fails to make his mother happy, that’s why he stopped himself from doing anything and started accepting the things how they are which had started his obsession with truth. But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t crave for his parents love. He does crave for it.
‘But he doesn’t have the luck to achieve it, hell he doesn’t even have luck to get Ishanya as his friend.’ He thought. Just when he stood up from the recliner to go to his room, his phone beeped in arrival of the message. He smiled broadly seeing the ‘good night’ message from Ishanya.
He was going to his room, he saw his mom having trouble in walking she is winging while she walked due to the effect of alcohol. He rushed to her side and held her making her straight.
“I will take you to your room, ma.” He said and Janvi looked at him with the sad smile.
“Om, my baby…….” She said and mumbled something, but Omkara couldn’t understand it.
They came inside Janvi’s room which is empty as Tej is not at home. Omkara took her to the bed and made her lay down covering her with duvet. He was about to leave when janvi held his hand and asked, “Please, stay with me for few minutes. I cannot handle this loneliness.” Omkara tried hard to stop his tears from falling down and sat beside his mother. “I am here only mom. Sleep.” He said to her.
“I am sorry Omkara.” She said making him confused and continued before he could say anything, “I try, I try hard to become your mother, but I couldn’t make the lover in me die. I cannot handle the pain and cheating your father gave me. I am sorry.” She said making her tears fall and Omkara too cried with her but the wiped his tears and then his mother’s and
said, “Don’t think about anything, ma. Just relax and sleep.” And made her close her eyes. He sat there for some time and then stormed to his room.
Once he came inside his room, he let his tears to fall. He stood at the door crying for his mother, for himself a son who got deprived from both of his parents’ love. He cried remembering the happy childhood he had.
After sometime, he wiped his tears and went to the table which is beside his bed and took out a bottle of sleeping pills which doctor had advised him not to take and try to sleep naturally as he had been on pills for many days.
He was about to put a pill in his mouth, he heard Ishanya’s voice saying, “Feelings are not in our hands but actions are.”
He looked at the bottle and put back the pill. If he doesn’t want to get hurt, it’s in his hands, he should not let anything affect him. Changing others or situations is not his hands but he can change himself and his reactions. He looked determined and kept the bottle back and fell asleep listening to the music.
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How is it?? I hope you enjoyed reading it. I am eagerly waiting for the replies. Please comment long.