“That Unknown Feeling”- Chapter 18: Perception

Chapter 17: Here

All previous chapters: Click Here

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Suhani cautiously entered Krishna’s room and saw her sitting on the bed. “Krishna?” she tentatively called out. Krishna looked up, “Suhani aunty, did you want something?”

“No Krishna,” Suhani said, sitting on the bed next to her. “You just looked a little uneasy this morning, is something wrong?”

“No aunty nothing is wrong! Why would something be wrong?” she smiled nervously.

“Krishna…I’ve taken care of you since you were little; what’s the matter?”

“Actually aunty, Yuvaan…” she paused, her cheeks turning red with frustration. Suhani mistook this for shyness and interrupted.

“Oh, so that’s what’s wrong, I should have known, ever since Yuvaan started visiting you more often.”

“You knew?” Krishna was shocked.

“Of course,” Suhani grinned, misunderstanding the whole situation. “I’ll go talk to him right now,” she tucked a strand of Krishna’s hair behind her ear. “Everything will be fine,”
Suhani assured her, getting up and heading out the door, with newfound happiness.

—–

The whole Birla family had gathered in the hall, waiting to hear what announcement Suhani wanted to make. Sayyam’s hands were in his pockets and he was staring in the general direction of Krishna’s room. He felt a little guilty for how he had treated her that day at the orphanage, but he had to stay away from her for her own good; she was too pure, too full of life, and he was just the opposite: destructive, flawed, and broken.

Krishna walked out of her room, glancing at everyone in confusion. “What happened Suhani aunty? Why did you call everyone here?”
“I have something to say…” Sayyam smiled seeing her excitement. “Krishna, after your mother died, I took care of you like my own daughter, and today, I want to make a decision that you will not regret for the rest of your life”.

“Suhani aunty…” Krishna glanced at Yuvaan, and felt a sense of dread creep up on her.

“I’ve decided to arrange yours and Yuvaan’s marriage!” she took both Krishna’s and Yuvaan’s hands and placed them in each other’s.

“How is this possible?” Dadi cried “I won’t let this girl get married to my Yuvaan”

“No Dadi”, Yuvraaj stated, “this marriage will happen, that is…if Krishna is happy with our decision. Yuvaan has already agreed.” Everyone waited for Krishna’s response eagerly;
Sayyam held his breath, a tiny part of him guiltily hoping she would refuse.

Krishna absent-mindedly glanced at Sayyam, remembering everything he’d said to her the previous day, and she felt a small twinge in her heart. She felt different when she was with Sayyam, something about him changed her; but then she recalled everything he’d said to her the previous day and everything Yuvaan had told her about his father.

She looked at her Dadu and Suhani aunty. They had done so much for her- given her so much love; and so had Yuvaan. This was the time to repay everything they had done for her and make them happy. She slowly nodded her agreement to the marriage, hoping she was making the right decision.

Sayyam felt his heart tighten as he stepped back, away from the Birla family. He kept going until he reached the outhouse. Disappearing was what he did best. He walked in and sat down on the sofa, placing his head in his hands. He wondered why he was feeling like this. ‘Maybe because I lost her today’ he thought, ‘No Sayyam, she was never yours in the first place’. He felt so out of place, so confused.

When Suhani walked in, he masked his vortex of emotions, putting up a smile.

“Sayyam beta,” she smiled. “I was about to talk to you, but you left.”

“About what maa?”

“You’ve looked upset today morning, that’s why.” she placed a hand on his.

He forcefully brightened his smile, “I’m fine, I was just wondering what to wear for the wedding…red or black?”
Suhani shut her eyes tightly, a memory flooding her senses.
_____

‘“Suhani, tomorrow we’ll get married, right?” Sambhav’s hand gripped her chin and she squirmed, trying to get away. “What will you wear? He smiled down at her and she felt repulsed. “No…Wait…Suhani, you will look good in anything! The real question is; what should I wear for the wedding?” he walked over to the cupboard taking two kurtas out and holding them up, “red or black?”’

_____

Suhani stood up abruptly, pushing Sayyam away, “Stop! Don’t do this…please” she started sobbing. “Anything but this! Please don’t!’ she was screaming. She moved back in panic, tripping over the rug and falling over. Tears threatened to spill out of Sayyam’s eyes. He retreated, raising his arms defensively. “Maa, calm down…please?” He went farther away from her. “See maa? I won’t hurt you; I can’t hurt you maa. Please don’t cry; I’m sorry” he closed his eyes in defeat, just as Yuvraaj, Yuvani, and Krishna ran in to the outhouse.

Yuvraaj immediately picked Suhani up, carrying her back to the house. Yuvani stood near the entrance, wanting to comfort her mother, but also realizing that Sayyam must be heartbroken right now. Krishna looked at Sayyam, anger rising in her. ‘He must have done this’ she fumed, walking towards him immediately. Yuvani watched in alarm as Krishna walked angrily towards him. ‘She doesn’t know what exactly happened’, Yuvani realized, trying to stop her, but Krishna had made up her mind.

“What have you done?” she exclaimed, pushing him back roughly. “I always thought that you were a good person at heart!” she tapped furiously on his chest. “But you proved me wrong today; how low can you stoop? Today you hurt your mother…you showed your anger to Suhani aunty, didn’t you. Your own mother; who has done nothing but wish the best for you!”

Sayyam angrily twisted Krishna’s hand behind her back. “Don’t say anything today!” he yelled back. “When you don’t even know what has happened, don’t you dare open your mouth. Go stay with Yuvaan and be happy in your own world.” He took out all his frustration on her.

“Don’t bring Yuvaan into this!” she was riled up. “Besides, if I don’t know what happened here then tell me! What happened to Suhani aunty?” Sayyam opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again, not knowing how to answer.

“See? I knew it. Yuvaan was right! You’re just like your father, I don’t what I saw in you that I actually felt sorry for you.” She didn’t know where her sudden courage was coming from, but she also didn’t know how deep she had cut Sayyam with her words.
Sayyam stepped back, shocked. A tiny voice inside him agreed with Krishna. This was all because of him- why had he come back to Suhani’s life? He was just like his father, constantly giving Suhani pain.

“Krishna-” Yuvani wanted to tell Krishna that she was misunderstanding Sayyam and his actions, but Sayyam glanced at her and shook his head, signing her to not tell Krishna the truth.

Sayyam stepped closer to Krishna, looking deep into her eyes and reached behind her, grabbing his car keys. He strode towards the door, turning back only for a second, “I never wanted your pity in the first place,” he rebuked her, walking out into the chilly night.
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Hey guys, more plot twists coming up 😉 I’m sorry if this is heart-wrenching, but Kriyam need their time to find themselves and create their own path. We’ll get back on track soon, but we’re gonna need some fire before the romance 😉

Love you guys!
– Shreya <3