“That Unknown Feeling” – Chapter 44: The Past and The Present

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*****
Sayyam had his jacket hanging over his left shoulder when he exited their room and almost ran into Yuvaan.

Yuvaan visibly gulped and stepped away from Sayyam, before turning around and heading down the hallway. Sayyam frowned, but decided not to think too much about it. He slipped his arm into the jacket sleeve while hurrying through the living room, and caught sight of Suhani and Bhavna walking into the hall.

“Maa,” he called, fiddling with the collar of his jacket. He looked up from his jacket to find his mother staring blankly at him.

Oh yeah.

He’d almost forgotten.

Suhani was completely avoiding his gaze and Sayyam felt the pain he’d been trying to forget fight it’s way back to the surface. There was a heavy silence before Sayyam opened his mouth again, looking at Bhavna.

“Maasi-”

“Don’t call me that,” Bhavna snapped quietly, “I’m not your Maasi.”

Sayyam swallowed his emotions down before continuing, “The thing is, Krishna, had a fever, and-”

“What? Why? What did you do?” Suhani said all at once and Sayyam froze.

He hadn’t done anything.

Sayyam looked up at his mother, and he didn’t even have to try that hard; he could see that look in her eyes.

He could see the blame in her eyes.

And it hurt.

“She’s in the room; she’s fine now, but I just thought she shouldn’t be by herself…” he trailed off, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

Bhavna and Suhani rushed past him and into the room, and Sayyam couldn’t really blame them. In their eyes, what he’d done was unforgivable.” He sighed, walking out the front door.

He had somewhere more important to be anyway.
_____

Yuvaan entered his room, heaving a sigh of relief. He was so confused, this didn’t make sense. Since when were Sayyam and Krishna so close?

Since when were they okay with each other?

Yuvaan shook his head; he’d expected to see them fighting, or even just ignoring each other; but watching Krishna and Sayyam actually getting along was getting on his nerves.

Krishna was only supposed to like him. She was closest to him. Not Sayyam.

“Ahhh,” Yuvaan growled. First a stack of papers went tumbling to the ground, then it was a candle- the glass shattering on impact with the floor..

Baby walked in, frantically taking a step to the left to avoid some of the glass pieces. “Yuvaan! What the he-”

“Shut up Baby.” Yuvaan exhaled slowly.

“Babe…” she approached him with caution. “You okay?”

“No I’m not, can you fix it?” Yuvaan hissed at her. Baby stopped herself from face-palming, and she found herself wishing that it was Sayyam in Yuvaan’s place. He did less drama. She really hadn’t missed Sayyam this much until now.

She shook her head almost immediately, cursing her train of thought. Sometimes she had to remind herself of why she loved Yuvaan. Funny how she kept forgetting.

“Baby? Are you even listening?” Yuvaan’s voice snapped her out of her trance.

“What?” Baby responded.

I was saying that Krishna and Sayyam are getting too close. It can’t be right.”

“You’re really gonna talk about your ex in front of me?” Baby scoffed.

“Baby,” he frowned, “can you just focus?”

“A please would be nice,” Baby mumbled.

“What was that?”

“I said; yeah, I’m listening.”

“Good.”

Baby rolled her eyes. She didn’t need his appreciation.

But Yuvaan had a point, although it was for a rather stupid reason. Something was going on between Sayyam and Krishna. She knew Sayyam well enough, she knew the type of guard he put up, the look in his eyes when he was lying, she saw how he much he cared…

For Krishna.

As Yuvaan went on rambling about his theories, Baby decided that she would have to find out more about this Krishna.

Time for some introductions.
_____

“Hey, what’s up?” Sayyam stepped into the room gingerly, wincing when he noticed Anjali glaring up at him.

“You went AWOL for four days, that’s what’s up.” she pouted.

“Umm…sorry?” Sayyam smiled cutely, ruffling her hair.

“Ugh, fine,” a smile tugged at Anjali’s lips, “tell me this; how was the wedding? How are Krishna and that Yushan guy?”

It took all of Sayyam’s self control to not start laughing.

“Umm, well, Yuvaan is good but- um- the thing is- you see-”

“You’re blushing,” Anjali stated bluntly, her eyebrow raised.

Sayyam frowned down at her, “well- Krishna and I may have gotten married instead…”

“Woah!!” Anjali squealed, “I knew it!” She did a little happy dance in her bed. “Have you guys kissed yet?” She wiggled her eyebrows for emphasis.

If it was possible, Sayyam’s cheeks turned a shade redder.

“Aww, look, he’s blushing,” Anjali giggled.

“Shut. Up.” Sayyam rolled his eyes.

“Okay okay,” Anjali chuckled. “So things must be going well then?”

Sayyam raised an eyebrow, “you know, you sound like my mother right now.”

“Answer the question,” Anjali pretended to frown, her eyes sparkling in amusement.

“Well, yes mom, everything’s going just fine…better than I expected at least.”

“But what happened?” She edged closer to him, curious. “Why’d you have to marry her, cause last I saw, you both “hated” each other’s guts.” Anjali made air quotes when she said ‘hated’.

“Nuh uh,” Sayyam immediately objected, “That bedtime story is not for a kid like you,”

“I thought we went over this bhaiyya, I’m not a kid,” Anjali whined.

“You are for me,” Sayyam grinned.

“Yeah, yeah, but tell me one thing,” she smiled at him mischievously, “Do you think she’s in love with you too?”
_____

“Of course I am!” Krishna exclaimed, while being confronted by Suhani and Bhavna. “I’m completely fine!”

“Krishna, you know you can tell us anything, right?” Suhani hesitated, “if Sayyam told you not-”

“Aunty!” Krishna blanched, “Sayyam…he wouldn’t do that. I swear I’m fine. He just freaked out and told you guys. I’m just tired.”

“Okay,” Suhani sighed, believing Krishna, while Bhavna remained skeptical, “Krishna, you can talk to us, okay?”

“Yeah, I know, that’s what I’m doing right now, anyway,” Krishna grimaced inwardly due to her awkward joke.

Suhani smiled slightly, when suddenly, they heard Yuvraaj’s voice coming from the kitchen.

“Suhani, where are the plates?” he called, albeit loudly.

“Where they usually are,” Suhani called back, while the two other woman snickered.

“Huh?” they heard his footsteps shuffle in the kitchen, then they heard one of the chairs skid on the floor, followed by a groan of pain.

“Oh dear,” Suhani sighed, rolling her eyes knowingly, “I better go.”

“Yeah, you go,” Krishna chuckled, while Suhani headed out of her room.

“Hey Krishna?” Bhavna sat on the bed next to Krishna, “You can-”

“I’ll talk to you whenever I need to, I promise, but you have to know,” Krishna chose her next words carefully, “I’m happy with Sayyam, he’s nice to me. He’s given me no reason to complain,” she sighed.

“Well, I’m fine then…as long as he didn’t do anything to hurt you.”
_____

“What? Of course not!” Sayyam almost fell over.

“Krishna does not ‘love’ me” his eyes were wide open. “And besides, what do you mean by ‘too,’ huh? I don’t love her; we’re just friends right now…barely.”

“Mmm hmm, sure” Anjali smirked.

“Alright, that’s enough of that,” you’re practically drooling.”

“It’s not my fault you both are meant to be togeth-” she immediately faked a bout of coughing, to cover up her words.

Sayyam saw through the act and frowned, “what did you just say?”

“Nothing, nothing,” the girl lay back into the bed, the needles stuck in her wrist getting the best of her. Suddenly, the room grew quiet.

“How was the…” Sayyam winced.

“The treatment today?” Anjali stated dully, “it was fine, you missed the fun.”

“Anjali,” Sayyam sighed guiltily.

“No. Don’t.” she held her hand out. “I never want you to see me as a sick person, or a victim, or even a fighter. I just want to be Anjali. I want to just be me while I’m still here. Please.”

Sayyam gulped, “What makes you think you’re going anywhere?”

“No, don’t you see? I’m not scared anymore. Everyone’s time comes bhaiyya; and for some people it’s just earlier than usual; and that sucks, but I have to make the most of it.”

Sayyam didn’t have the strength to disagree with her. Not when he knew that he couldn’t give her real hope without knowing for certain.

“I sometimes see that look in your eyes; it’d been there for a while now.” She changed the subject, shifting in the bed.

Sayyam cocked his head, not comprehending what she was saying.

“It’s that look you get when you’ve done something wrong. It’s that look you always have when you blame yourself. And you know what bhaiyya? It’s usually not even your fault. Remember that time you blamed yourself cause I got hurt?”

Sayyam closed his eyes, the memories filtering through the cracks in the wall he’d put up in his mind.
_____

A boy walked through a hallway, shaking his head and huffing under his breath. He turned down a corner, when a girl emerged from one of the rooms, her face lighting up when she saw him.

“Sayyam bhaiyya!”

“Hey Anjali,” the nineteen year old grinned, reaching down to pat the girl’s head.

“Where are you going?” the girl pushed her bangs away from her face.

“To get Baby and me some food maybe, why?” he responded.

“Just askin’,” Anjali responded cutely, her eyes widening as she looked at something over Sayyam’s shoulder.

“Hey Sayyam,” the boy felt a hand on his shoulder, the fingers pressing into his skin. He knew it would leave a bruise.

Brown eyes steeled themselves as the boy turned around, shaking the hand off of him.

“Where are you headed?” A older, lanky boy smirked down at Sayyam.

“It shouldn’t matter to you,” Sayyam growled out quietly, backing away. He wasn’t going to get into a fight; not with Baby sick and Anjali watching everything that was happening.

A couple other boys stepped out of the shadows, cornering Sayyam. “I thought we told you last time; stay away and we won’t hurt you.”

“Last time I checked, you guys were the ones who started this conversation,” the boy took another step backwards.

“Oh, look who’s talking,” the boys chuckled darkly, “Baby’s little bitc-”

“Don’t you dare complete that,” Sayyam hissed.

“I was saying,” the boy cleared his throat, “that you’re starting to act like a-“. The boys words were cut short as Sayyam lunged at him, grabbing his collar.

The other boys dragged Sayyam away, pushing him against the wall.

“Hold him down,” the older boy scowled, wiping blood away from the corner of his mouth.

Three boys held Sayyam down, as the guy took out a pocket knife, flipping it open. Sayyam’s mouth went dry. They wouldn’t go that far, would they? He thought he’d faced the worst of them already. He swallowed, trying to calm the pounding in his chest.

He struggled against the arms that held him down. Their grips were too tight, he could feel the blood flow to his left arm being obstructed.

The cool blade was pressed against his temple, and he felt sweat rolling down the nape of his neck. He pulled away from the blade, trying to escape whatever they planned to do to him. His eyes found Anjali’s, who stared at him in fear. He shook his head subtly, trying to calm her down.

The boys pushed him against the wall. Hard. And Sayyam groaned in pain. Anjali whimpered in the opposite corner, and the boy’s eyes turned towards her.

Sayyam’s blood ran cold. “Anjali! Run, go!” He choked out. Anjali stumbled back as one of the boys approached her, her eyes darting towards Sayyam’s frozen form. She began to dash for the exit, when a pair of arms grabbed her small form. He heard her gasp in alarm, trying to get away, and he snarled, pulling desperately away from the other boys.

“No, don’t touch her!” Sayyam clenched his jaw. The boy holding Anjali yelped when she bit down on his arm and threw her on ground, grasping his arm in pain. Sayyam’s eyes widened as he watched Anjali lay on the ground, her eyes scrunched up in pain.

Screw this.

He kicked blindly at the boy to his left, and his leg connected with the back of the guy’s knee. Sayyam wrestled free of their grasp and lunged for the boy who’d hurt Anjali, when he felt something sharp cut the skin on his face.

Sayyam fell over, holding the side of his face, realizing there was a cut on his nose; and it was a deep one. He tried to stop the blood, now heading for Anjali, when he felt a sharp pain in his side.

The older boy had kicked him. Sayyam grit his teeth. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of watching him in pain.

“I told you,” the boy leaned toward Sayyam, his eyes wild with rage, “not to mess with us.” He kicked Sayyam one last time and turned around, walking away with the rest of them.

Sayyam winced when he tried to get up, feeling the full intensity of his injuries as the adrenaline slowly left his system. The world around him grew dimmer and he felt a presence at his side.

He closed his eyes, awaiting the worst, when he felt a warm hand on his cheek. He looked up at a pair of concerned eyes and chocolate brown hair, before his world faded away.
_____

“Thanks to your friend, you were okay, or they would have found you again and hurt you even more.” Anjali said softly, dragging Sayyam out of his thoughts.

“Anjali, you were the one with a concussion,” Sayyam frowned.

“Yeah, I know…” Anjali huffed, smiling slightly, “and lucky for us, she knew first aid.”

Sayyam remained quiet, suddenly showing more interest in the wall.

“Sayyam?” Anjali questioned quietly, “do you know where she is?”

“Wha- what? I don’t know where Baby is.” Sayyam stuttered.

“I never mentioned a name,” Anjali smirked. Sayyam bit the inside of his cheek, realising his mistake.

“You promised me you wouldn’t give up on her, remember? You promised me after she left that you’d try to find her. That no matter how angry you were with her for leaving, you would look for her…so have you…found her?”

“Sayyam gulped,” closing his eyes. It was time for the big reveal. He took a deep breath, looking at Anjali.

“What if I told you…she was at the Birla house?”

*****
Heyy guys, sorry for the late update…I realized too late that I wouldn’t be at home on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, so I wouldn’t be able to post a chapter: so here’s an extra long chapter to make up for it. The plot will thicken soon and all your questions will be answered 😉

Until Thursday!
– Shreya <3