“That Unknown Feeling”- Chapter 8:Mixed Emotions

As rain beat against the windows and lightning flashed outside, Krishna grabbed her favorite novel and sat on the couch with a cup of her favorite hot cocoa. She settled in and slowly opened the pages to her favorite part of the story. This was the third time she was reading this book, mainly because she fallen in love with the innocence of the main character, Tara, who like her, was an orphan. Abhi, the character opposite Tara, had a completely different personality, but he and Tara shared one thing in common- a difficult childhood. They both had faced so much in life and when they met, had unknowingly healed each other.

Krishna was reading the part in which Tara had broken down, her own weaknesses overwhelming her, and Abhi accepted her completely for who she was:

‘“Tara please, don’t cry,” Abhi whispered, gently wiping away her tears. “Don’t listen to them”.

“My parents, they- it’s all my fault,” Tara cried, burying her face in his shirt.

“You were a child Tara,” Abhi cupped Tara’s face in both his hands, “How would you know-”

“Who am I for you?” Tara suddenly said, looking deep into Abhi’s eyes.

“Tara?” Abhi was confused.

“Why do you care? When everyone has left me, why are you still here?” tears continued to stream down her face.

“You want to know why I’m here. Why I care?” Abhi exclaimed with vigor, holding Tara’s shoulders. “I love you. You understand? I love all of you! Your pain, your happiness, your perfection, and your imperfections- everything that makes you you.” Abhi leaned closer with every word he said, and Tara closed her eyes, waiting. He-‘

Krishna felt a tap on her shoulder and looked up, startled. Sayyam was looking down at her, his eyebrows raised.

“Romance books? Again?” He scoffed.

“Oye, Khadoos, you couldn’t leave me in peace for two minutes more? I was reading-”

“-your favorite part of your favorite novel, which you’re reading for the third time,” Sayyam finished her sentence, leaning back on the couch.

Krishna’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open in surprise, “How do you know?”

“Listen Miss Bewakoof, I’m not some Sherlock Holmes, but at least I’m smarter than you: Every time I think you’ve finished that book, you pick it up again. Obviously, you’ve been re-reading it. Besides, you have read your favorite part so many times that those couple pages are wrinkled up now.” Sayyam ranted. Krishna stared at him in awe. How could he know so much from such tiny details? An unknown feeling took hold of her heart, making itself comfortable in a tiny corner.

Anyway, let me see what part it is that interests you so much,” Sayyam said, reaching for the book. Krishna blushed and held the book away from him, shaking her head in embarrassment.

“Oh!” Sayyam exclaimed teasingly, “Was it a kiss scene?” He leaned over Krishna, extending his hand. Krishna blushed even more and held the book to herself. “K-kiss scene? N-no, why?”

“I don’t think you know what a kiss scene is,” Sayyam suddenly became serious. His hands were on either side of her, trapping her on the sofa, while he leaned closer to Krishna, “should I show you?”

Krishna’s face was red by now, and the tip of her nose was turning deep pink, while Sayyam hovered over her. They got closer and closer, until their breaths were mingling. Krishna closed her eyes in nervousness.

Suddenly, his mother’s pain-laden face flashed before Sayyam’s eyes, and he backed away, almost falling off the couch. He looked at Krishna wildly and turned away, ashamed of himself and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to convince himself that he hadn’t just been about to kiss Krishna. Of course, it was just supposed to be a joke; but he couldn’t turn into his father- he just couldn’t.

Sayyam rushed out of the house, while Krishna stared at his retreating figure, still trying to figure out what had just happened.
—–

“What were you doing?” Sayyam scolded himself once he was in the outhouse. “Have you gone crazy? Why are you getting so close to her?” He sighed in frustration, wondering why his emotions were all mixed up. That girl did something to him. Every. Single. Time. “Sayyam,” he warned himself, “you need control yourself; you can’t turn into him”.

Sayyam looked into the mirror, fear taking hold of him. He couldn’t turn into that man- he didn’t want to turn into the kind of person his father had been. He fell to his knees, on the verge of breaking down. “Distance Sayyam…distance” Sayyam reminded himself, “don’t let yourself get attached to her; she’s just another person- don’t let yourself get so involved.” Sayyam looked at his reflection, desperately hoping he would be able to follow his own advice.
*****
Hey guys, sorry for the late update! My wifi was down, and I had to wait…so yup…
Sayyam is misunderstanding his attraction towards Krishna…what’s gonna happen now? 😉

Thanks for reading! Love you guys!

-Shreya <3