Introduction : Here
(In the way of) Life and Death : 1st Shot.
I stare at the letter in my hand. I don’t know who sent me this, but after skimming what’s inside I’m curious to know about it. It’s still early morning and my mind is clueless about this unknown/mysterious letter in my hand. Who wrote it? I’m hoping it’s a girl as she had mentioned about her boyfriend here. How did she have my address? Oh yeah! She just came up with it herself. How convenient no? I know this is a serious matter. She wants to suicide because according to her, the life she’s living is a mess. I don’t know anything about her and her life, even though I can feel the agony she’s having. She wrote it to some god knows stranger because she can’t share it with anyone. Is she even alive right now or? No!
I don’t know her name, and she’d autographed it with just an initial S. How can I find someone with the help of an initial? I scanned the whole courier and my brain caught the address printed on it. I can track the address from where I got the letter. Yes, that would be great. I grab my laptop and immediately searched the address in the search engine. It’s still loading. Please, please, please….done! I look closely and it’s so confusing that I can’t get where it exactly is. After a couple of searches here and there, I find it. It shows somewhere in New Delhi. I’ve been to Delhi a couple of times, but I don’t know anyone there as I’ve visited it for the work purpose only. Now I know that the person is in Delhi, then what? I can’t be sure for her to be near this address because the address is of some government office in Delhi. Should I take a chance and go there. Should I?
The whole day went thinking about the letter and I was not able to focus on my work. By the end of the day I decided that to go and look for her. What if I find her? I can’t risk her life by not going. She’s alone and she needs someone. I want to help her. I booked an online ticket from Dubai to Delhi and went to sleep as my flight timings said to be of the next afternoon.
My alarm buzzes and I got up from my bed and went to make my morning coffee. I have a habit of making my own food because I live alone here. My family lives in Dehradun and I live all by myself. Sometimes I feel a bit lonely, but then I console myself by thinking that I’m doing all this for my family only. I’m an Architect and I work in a well-known company here. Oh! I must send a mail to my boss about my leave for some days. I quickly typed the mail in my laptop –
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Subject: Application of leave for few days.
Sir,
I wish to apply for a leave for few days as I am going on a family vacation.
I would like to have your approval on my leave. All my responsibilities and the outstanding work are been taken care of, before I leave.
Looking forward to a positive reply at the earliest!
Thanking you.
Yours sincerely,
Arch.Dev Dixit
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I won’t wait for a reply because I know he’ll allow the leave. I don’t often take offs and this by far would be my 3rd leave because I always work. Even during the holidays I go to the office or work from home. I don’t like to visit my family because then I feel insecure about my life. I’m happy to see that they are satisfied with their lives and I know I’m not. I’m lonely. And work is my only companion.
I hurriedly completed my all pending plans and designs before mailing it to my office. I still have five hours back my flight. After taking the shower, I dressed up in a tri-colour full sleeve t-shirt with dark blue denim jeans. I slipped the Burberry black watch in my hand to complete the look. I hadn’t packed much luggage because I don’t know what I’m going to do there. Just one handbag, that’s it. I was just doing the last minute arrangements when I heard the doorbell.
I opened the door to find the postman standing there. I just got one courier yesterday, again? I signed the register book and took the cover from his hand. Without bothering much about the sender, I opened it to find a familiar kind of letter like yesterday in there. I quickly scanned the letter…
Hey again stranger,
I don’t get why I’m writing this to you again! I felt relieved after writing the first letter and thought of doing it again. I don’t know if anyone is reading it or not and I hope no one reads it. It could be great if the address is invalid and the letter goes straight into the trash. I am really a wreck. Last night I tried to kill myself, but failed. I gulped all the sleeping pills in one go to end my life.
I thought that finally I made it, finally I’d be able to free myself from this prison, but my mom saw that and made me spit out all the tablets. You must be thinking that my mom loves me and that’s why she saved me. Let me tell you that’s not the reason. She saved me for her own benefit and she’ll use me every day for it. I’ve decided to end my life and I’ll do it. I’ll leave all of them behind, crying. [I can’t be sure about that because no one loves me] But I’ll surely make them regret their deeds towards me. I will again try to end my sh*t life and this time, not anywhere near my house.
In the first letter I’d written one reason why I don’t want to suicide and that was because I want to live. Yeah, that was true. I also had dreams. I’d also wished to be married to the love of my life and have adorable children. I wanted to be a photographer, and I think I should make that happen. I’ll click some pictures of myself before dying, sounds fun, no? I hoped to have a normal life. I wanted to be happy. I wanted to live. But it’s ok, life was the choice for me and I choose death.
BYE!
Yours Pitiful,
SB