“Yeah, the doctor had told us that you are anemic… Don’t worry my child I’ll make sure that you get a good diet to overcome it… Dr. Khanna has also given a prescription; I’ll send Murli to get your medicines… You should rest now, you are weak” Naani told her affectionately. Advay shifted in his place restlessly, agitation was as visible as possible on his forlorn face, and there was no way that he was going to believe that Chandni is alright, that nothing is wrong with her health. “Naani I think I should go to my room… I don’t want to disturb you” saying that Chandni tried to get up from the bed when another attack of dizziness whooshed her head and before she could hit the ground two strong arms caught her fragile frame supporting her “Chandni… Chandni are you okay? Open your eyes… Look at me…” between the buzzing sound in her head she could hear Advay’s voice laced with worry and fear. “Cheeku! What happened to her? Is she okay?” Naani also got worried listening to him.
(Note: Another one of my favorite songs couldn’t help but to include in the story to express Advay’s torment and his feelings for Chandni.)
Ache – James Carrington
“Isn’t it strange the way things can change
The life that you lead turned on its head
Suddenly someone means more than you felt before
Her house and its yard turns into home
I’m sorry but I meant to say
Many things along the way
So this one’s for you
Have I told you I ache
Have I told you I ache
Have I told you I ache for you?” “I don’t know Naani, she is dizzy again and that damn doctor was saying that everything is fine… She is getting faint again and again… Chandni” in a sick worried voice Advay cursed Dr. Khanna for not checking her up properly. “Chandni… Can you hear me?” this time he shook her lightly hoping that she might be able to get her wits back. “Hmm… What… What happened? Did I faint again?” she asked in a weak voice, almost a whisper. “Cheeku, let her be here with me at least that way I’ll be able to take care of her” Naani said in a worried voice. “Naani, I’m fine now… Please don’t worry… I don’t want to give you any trouble… Please…” she tried to convince Naani. Before Naani could say anything to her, Advay interrupted them “Naani, don’t worry about her, I’ll take care of her… Chandni is right, it won’t be easy for you to take care of her…” he tried to convince Naani. “But Cheeku” “Naani I told you I’ll take care of her” he squeezed Naani’s shoulder assuring while supported Chandni with his other hand and her head was rested against his heart.
“Have I told you I ache
Have I told you I ache/and I hope its not too late
Have I told you I ache/Can I hold you and ache for you?
The hours that it took writing words for my book
Seems to have broken in half
The gate that I shut last time I got hurt
Seems to have opened itself” “Chandni” he gently stroke her hair “how are you feeling now? Ready to go to your room?” he asked her and the answer came in a feeble nod of her head. Knowing that she didn’t have the strength to walk on her own, Advay lifted her in his arms and strode out of Naani’s room towards her room. He settled her on the bed very gently, placed her head on the pillows and tugged her loose tendrils behind her ear that were covering her face. Noticing that she was shivering a little he placed his warm hand against her cold cheek very gently as if he was afraid of hurting her “Chandni are you okay now? You didn’t eat anything until this morning… Let me get something for you to eat okay…” covering her with a blanket he was about to leave when he felt her gripping his hand tightly. “Advay I’m feeling cold and scared, please don’t go… Please don’t leave me alone” she was asking him, the very reason for all the troubles and sorrows in her life to remain with her because she was afraid. Tears were falling from her beautiful eyes; he felt like someone was choking him, watching her in this condition was making it hard for him to breathe.
“Oh the world it’s spinning now
It’s trying to catch me up
And tell me to appreciate
The here and now
I’m sorry but i meant to say
Many things along the way
So this one’s for you
Have I told you I ache
Have I told you I ache
Have I told you I ache for you?” He quickly went closer to her, taking her fragile and shivering frame into the strong and warm embrace of his he tried to calm her down “Chandni, its okay… Shh, it’s alright… I’m not leaving you alone… I’m here with you… Don’t cry… Please don’t cry… You are not alone… You are not alone; I’m here with you… You are safe… You are safe… I’m not going anywhere… Just calm down…” with one hand he was patting her head which she had hidden in his chest while her tears drenching his shirt, burning his heart with their acid and with his other hand he was rubbing the small of her back soothingly to reassure her that she was safe. At the same time where he was trying to assure her that she is safe, he was also filled with disgust for himself because he was the one to destroy her life and she was so naïve and innocent to trust him, to think that she will be safe with him, he will keep her safe, he just wanted the earth to tear apart so he could dig himself deep into it.
“Have I told you I ache
Have I told you I ache/and I hope it’s not too late
Have I told you I ache/Can I hold you and ache for you?” When her sobs and shivering subsided he looked down at her only to find her sleeping peacefully in his arms against his heart, he tightened his embrace around as if he never wanted to let go of her and placed a soft kiss on her head. Lifting her face in his hands, he wiped away her tears “I’m so sorry Chandni… I’ve put you through so much… I’m a ruthless monster… How can you be so innocent and naïve to trust a monster like me? I’ve destroyed your life… I wish I could turn around the time and wipe out that dreadful night from our lives for forever… I’m so sorry that I hurt you again and again… I’m sorry…” he again placed a soft kiss on her forehead while tears of anguish escaped his grief-stricken eyes.