Where Secrets Lie – Chapter 13 – Reliving the Fogotten

Dear Riddhima,

I don’t think I can call you ‘dear’ anymore after what I did with you. But there’s no use crying over spilt milk now. This is my punishment that I should bear your hatred.
You don’t remember anything about Vansh. But this diary is a chance to relive those forgotten memories.
.
You were so deeply in love with Vansh, that you decided to dedicate an entire diary to him.
.
Of course, after his death and your amnesia, I had conveniently hidden this diary so that you’d never find out about him.
.
Also in order to train Vihaan to impersonate as Vansh, we had to resort to this diary for the little details. Because none of us had met Vansh on a personal level, we didn’t know how he really was.
.
But what we as humans don’t understand that how much ever we plan, there’s a greater planner sitting above us…

Riddhima’s hands trembled as she sat on the sofa and began to open the first page of the diary. She had always wanted to know more about Vansh and his relation with her, and this was that moment.

She recognized her handwriting on the first page and began reading it further :

V  A  N  S  H 

This name itself is enough to stir innumerable and baffling emotions through me. I’ve seen and treated many patients before. But this man…everything about him is so different. He is the most impeccably gorgeous man I’ve ever come across. His magnificent grey eyes, which seem to speak a thousand words whenever I peep into them. His perfectly chiselled jawline and the neat beard that covered it. His tall stature and those broad muscular arms. And that warm baritone voice.

I feel a strange magnetic pull towards him. Whenever he narrates about his pain during the therapy sessions, I feel the pain too. Is this just an attraction or something deeper?

He did take a lot of time to open up to me, with our first session going horribly wrong. It was from the subsequent sessions onwards that he gradually began trusting me.

I was horrified to know what had occured with his family. Someone had deliberately put his house on fire, burning his entire family in it. And the worst part, the blame unfairly came on his head. To add to his woes, his sister has gone missing and he’s been on her search since then.

He has an incoherent fear of people. He thinks that someone may kill him next. That’s the reason he stays in a jungle, away from the society. Initially, I found this strange but when I got to know his backstory, his paranoia seemed valid. In fact while coming over here for his hospital visits, he wears a hooded jacket to cover his face.

Initially a patient suffering from morbid depression and suicidal thoughts, he finally began showing lot of improvement. So much so that, he even started smiling now and then. I realized with awe that he had an equally beautiful smile that made cute little dimples in his cheeks. I might sound childish and stupid, but I feel like touching those!

And did I say that he just loves black colour? Of course, black just adds to his handsomeness, but still. I think I’d want to see him in different colours too.

His only aim in life is to find his sister, Sia, and find out the main culprits behind this dreadful incident. Without even thinking a bit, I said that I’d help him in this. I myself was taken aback to see my reaction. Normally, I maintain a strictly professional relation with my patients, then why do I feel like going that extra mile for Vansh only?

Even Vansh was surprised by what I said and getting overwhelmed, he hugged me! And what did I do? I hugged him back as if that was the most normal thing to do. I mean he is my patient for crying out loud, am I not supposed to maintain the sanctity of this doctor-patient relation? Is it alright for a doctor to fall for her own patient? Is this even valid?

Yes, I’m falling for him! Day by day and little by little, he is carving a permanent niche for himself in my heart. What do I even do now, especially when there is very little chance we’ll meet again after his very last therapy session with me ended today? I did offer to help him in Sia’s case, but will he come to me again? What if he never does?

***

As I had expected, Vansh didn’t turn up to the hospital again. Perhaps he doesn’t want my help. Or even worse, he doesn’t trust me.

Getting impatient, I did the next most thoughtful thing. I called him up! I know this is crazy and a doctor doesn’t go around calling his patients up on their personal numbers, but I did exactly that. Using his personal information from the his medical file, I dialled his number.

Thankfully, he picked it up. But he didn’t sound very well. Apparently, he was down with a severe fever with no one to care for him.

Like an absolute idiot, I drove over to his place, right inside the jungle. I have a hardcore phobia of forests and I shouldn’t be venturing there in the first place. But lately, I’ve been acting really stupidly. So this did not come as a surprise. Perhaps, love made a person stupid.

First few steps into the woods, and my phobia kicked in. My breathing became laboured, my hands and feet became numb, and everything around me began to spin. Of course, that was bound to happen, what was I even expecting?

Thankfully, a weak looking Vansh came to my rescue soon. How did he know that I was there, I still don’t know. He took me to his small but decent appearing house.

Once inside, he scolded me. “Why the hell did you come here? How can you be so careless? What if something happened to you? Dangerous animals prowl about the area all day long, what if any one of them caught you?”

“Because you were feeling sick. So I got these medicines for you.” I took out some pills from my pocket.

Vansh groaned, “Just to give these medicines, you risked your life? Are you mad?”

“I didn’t want anything to happen to you,” I tried to explain.

He came near me, making my heart skip a beat. “Why do you care for me so much, Riddhima? You are just a doctor, so stay like one!”

Not going to lie, but I felt quite hurt. If not any appreciation, the least he could show was some civility. But this guy had crossed all limits of his rudeness.

“For you, I might be only a doctor. But for me, you mean much more than a mere patient…”

Vansh looked at me as if I had spoken in Greek. He stood expressionless for a few seconds and then pursed his lips.

“I don’t like where this is going, Riddhima. This is not right.”

“Why is this not right? What is wrong in this?”

Vansh looked away not wanting to meet my hopeful eyes, I suppose.

“There is no place in my life for such things. I have culprits to punish, I have a sister to find. I have unknown enemies, who’d want to kill me. I don’t want you to get unnecessarily pulled into all this mess. If anything happens to you because of me, I will fall down in my very own eyes!”

I understood what he wanted to say. He harboured feelings for me too, but was scared of his dark past shadowing me.

I patted his shoulder. “I don’t care what happens to me, but I’m not leaving your side. Ever.”

Vansh lost his patience. “You might not care about yourself, but I immensely care for you!”

“Why though?”

“Because I love you!”

He realized that in the heat of the moment, he had said a lot. He began looking here and there awkwardly.

As for me, I was overjoyed beyond imagination to hear those magical words from his mouth. So much so that, I felt like jumping around and screaming from the rooftop.

Standing on my toes, I flung my short arms around his neck.
“I love you too, Vansh!”

His muscles tensed up at my gesture and he tried hard to push me away. But the more he did that, the more I clung to him tightly.

I guess he spent the next few seconds battling his internal conflicts. But he couldn’t hold back any longer and finally gave into his emotions, wrapping his hands over my waist and pulling me closer.

That day we came closer, both emotionally and physically. Even thinking about our intimacy makes my cheeks go crimson. But I can vouch that it was the best moment of my life…

***

Vansh was lonely and so was I too. That’s the reason why I could feel that strong connection with him. We were the perfect answers to each other’s emptiness. He completed me, and I completed him.

He was a man of few words, but whenever he chose to spoke, he’d say such intelligent things that would make me gasp in wonder.

He loved to play the piano. His fingers had some kind of magic in them. Whenever they hit the keys of the piano, a captivating tune would be created which would make my heart overwhelm.

“Vansh, teach me to play the piano, too.” I pouted. “Please?”

He nodded. I wasn’t surprised because I knew that he could never say no to me. And I often took undue advantage of that to get my things done, hehe!

He beckoned me to sit by the piano, while his tall frame hovered over me, his signature sandalwood fragrance making my surroundings even more beautiful. He took my hands in his and helped them glide over the piano effortlessly.

He leaned closer, his beard tickling my skin. I laughed and soon he started laughing too.

“Your laughter as well as your love, they both are highly contagious,” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

“And you are addicting like wine,” I blinked suggestively.

Vansh cocked a brow. “Oh, is that so?”

He lifted me up and spun me around until I started feeling dizzy and had to literally beg him to put me down.

This man would surely be the death of me one day!

***

The next few months with him, passed in memorable bliss. I learnt to laugh, I learnt to live. He was my entire universe, he was my everything. I never dreamt that I’d so madly fall in love with someone. But here I was, crazily and happily in love with Vansh. But the biggest happiness was yet to come.

“I am pregnant.”

Vansh just stood frozen to the ground.

“What? Come again?”

“I said I am pregnant.” I neared him and put his hand over my tummy. “Our baby is in there.”

He kept quiet, not saying anything.

Disappointed with his lack of reaction, I asked him, “Aren’t you happy? Don’t you want this baby?”

“Nobody can want this baby more than me…” He bent down to kiss my tummy. I felt touched with this gesture.

With a faraway look in his eye, he continued, “I’ve lost my entire family in one go. There can be no better happiness for me than a new addition into my life. But…”

“But what?”

“I know you are pregnant, and therefore it is better if we get married. But for some inexplicable reason, I don’t find it right to settle down in my life happily whereas my sister is out there suffering somewhere.” He tried to fight back tears as he remembered his little sister.

I interlocked my fingers with his. “I love you and you love me. This baby is the symbol of our love. I don’t care for what the society says. I don’t need any stamp of marriage to validate our relation. We will marry only when you want, when Sia comes back.”

Feeling grateful, he took me in an embrace and then proceeded to kiss me passionately. Aah, how much I loved this man!

***

Everything was running smoothly. My life had taken a perfect turn and I was thankful to God for that. I did tell Neeti, Yash and Dad about Vansh. Neeti was neutral about it, but Dad and Yash didn’t seem very happy. I had guessed that Dad wouldn’t be happy to see me dating an average middle class guy, but as if I cared for his stupid thoughts. As for Yash, I still couldn’t understand what bothered him.

However, I was careful to hide about my pregnancy. I don’t know why I did that, maybe I wasn’t ready yet for a full blown confrontation. To add to my luck, I was quite lean and didn’t put on much weight. My small baby bump could be easily veiled behind those loose fitting clothes.

Vansh told me that he was very close to finding out the person behind that fire. Also, he was close to finding Sia’s whereabouts too.

Over the next few days, something in him changed and he became more and more grim and reclusive. When I prodded him, he used to simply brush it aside. But I understood that he had gotten some important information, but was hiding it from me to not give my pregnant state any more undue stress. But what could that be?

“I’ll tell you everything when the right time comes. I promise,” he said.

But when would that right time come?

*

Riddhima shut the diary after reading through the last page.

“The right time never came, Vansh. It never came,” she cried to herself.

*

Hello everyone! That is it for today guys. Do comment.

Peace out!