Arriving at the doctor’s office Raman was very apprehensive…….
Ishita didn’t look good she was weak and physically tired.
She tries to blow it off as normal but Raman has gone through this twice and he knew something was wrong.
The doctor drew some blood to do some test and they would receive the results in the week.
She also put Ishita on bed rest which was welcomed by Raman as he knew that she wouldn’t take off from work if he would have ask.
Ishita stayed over at the hospital for observation and the doctor thought that it would be good if Raman go home and get some of Ishita’s stuff.
The whole ride back Raman was thinking.
Thinking so much and letting those thoughts get the better of him.
His thoughts were like a small boat on the sea floating with the tide …
As memories ebbed back and forth.
Floating away
Away…away from the shore the sanctity of his peace.
Away from the calm….
Away from his Ishita.
His madrasan.
It felt unreal
Fond memories flashed back.
Their first kiss that night on the balcony…….
All their secret dates….weekends away.
It took everything within him not compose himself.
Raman reached home and asked Mihika to help him pack some things for Ishita’s stay.
He tried his best to dodge all the questions the family had and rushed out.
Tears were fogging his eyes.
Raman went back to work and was going to visit Ishita at three.
There were a strange glow in the sky and Raman.
He was going to take Ruhi to her as going to bed was without Ishita was not an option.
At work Raman was like a machine and swamping himself with work that he normally would give to other people.
He was regained his thoughts, when he heard his phone ring.
Hi Raman….
It was bizarre that how the mere sound of her voice could lift his spirits.
Raman….
I like the way you say my name? Raman said.
How do you feel?
Did you sleep well?
I’m …..I’m fine Ishita whisper softly, but her tone of voice said otherwise.
And it was as if the sun came out come shining when he heard her say that.
Are you worried Raavan Kumar? She laughed nervously.
I will bring Ruhi along later ….you know how she gets.
See you later, Raman.
Hanging up the phone Ishita put her pen down her word on the diary expressing all her sorrows, as the traces of her tears mapped her cheeks.
Something inside her burned like wild fire.
Her future was unclear…..
She was so close to it.
It was like her happiness was draining from her soul.
Her darkest hour was around the corner and she hoped and prayed that her failing health was something that could be remedied.
Ishita put her diary down …the one thing that she could confide in.
The only place that she could pour her heart and soul into.
Freely expressing herself.
Her brain was in overdrive as a doctor she kind of knew all the dangers that awaited her if she was to proceed with her pregnancy.
Who is he going to argue with?
Who is he going to tell his fears to or share in his successes?
After Shagun hurt him he became numb to emotions and feelings.
And she dreaded that it could happen again.
She hated letting him think that nothing was wrong.
Lying to him.
Who is going to pick him up when you fall on the steps drunk?
Who is he going to pay attention to your dreams
Who is he going to plug their ears when he snores.
Or hold him when he shake when he feel like he can’t go on.
She knew the sorrow in his eyes and it took her very long to change his sorrow into happiness.
Like a shadow casting darkness over everything, wandering over the Bhalla house.
Reaching out and taking the last bit of sunshine Ishita brought to the house.
Yes, the cold wind that blew through window disturbed the curtains.
That was just a start.
Heartlessly tainting the air.
Oh how she wished is was just a dream?
Some days were just worth remembering and today she wished she didn’t have all those memories.
Not today.
So clear her mind she decided to take a nap.
Her thoughts were restless but it took her to her safe place the place in her head.
That place she loved at a child.
Here she could dream freely.
It was like she was looking in a mirror, the images were vivid, clearer than ever.
There she wasn’t tired.
Things were simple and uncomplicated.
Complete.
She didn’t need something to rely on.
She saw herself seven years older.
Alive and with Raman by her side.
The children.
Aditya, dashing a young man.
Ruhi, spoiled, rebellious teenager….but deep down, a “daddy’s girl”
They were her everything, she would have to make it work.
Mrs Bhalla!
Mrs Bhalla!
You have visitors?
The voice from the other side echoed.
Slowly breaking her short nap.
As she sat up, a smile warmed her face as Ishita saw Ruhi who eagerly walked towards her.
It gave her the will to fight.
To be strong.